Hi bear could you and your (husband) go to your mother either before the wedding or just after so she can see you both in wedding gear and give her something from the wedding, hope that helps, oh and congratulations hope it's a lovely day for you both,.. Billy 

Hi Bear,

What an awful situation for you to be in at this time, there’s no words to help how you’re feeling.

Assuming you want your mum to be there Im going to go out on a limb and say that come the time of your wedding, if your mum is still coherent and has all her faculties then it’s her choice as to whether she comes or not. If it’s a definite that she only has a very short time left, and that no amount of hospice care will prolong that, then let it be her decision. 

Yes we can go the following morning, and I have already thought this, but can I carry on with the wedding when my mum is like this, I know she doesn’t want me to cancel, but I don’t want to put her through more hurt knowing we’re all somewhere else and she can’t be there.

Hi bear it might hurt your mum if you change things and she knows it is because of her, I know how you feel but it's your big day and your mum wants you to enjoy it she knows you care for her ever so much. Best wishes.. Billy 

She keeps saying she’s coming and I know she wants to, I’m going to see if I can enquire about a private ambulance, I want her there so much, 

i just feel so guilty having a happy day when she’s going through this, x

By all means look into whatever arrangements you can make, have a plan on stand by. Ultimately you’ll need to see how your mum is feeling nearer the time, if she’s still adamant she’s well to come then maybe nothing will stop her!

If however she is too poorly, and obviously you will need to heed the advice of medical professionals, you mustn’t for one minute feel guilty. Your mum has been through some serious crap these last 18 months and I can 100% guarantee that the shining light she sees is your special day, whether she can make it or not there is absolutely no way your mum will feel anything but pride and happiness for you and she would absolutely hate to think her parting gift for you was one of guilt and sorrow on her account.

Best wishes xx

Also, if your mum is too poorly, what about Skype or FaceTiming the wedding? I’m sure someone would sit with her with a laptop and help her watch. That could be a possible happy balance?