Hi Monty, 

I'm sorry to hear about your Dad. It sounds as if the past 6 weeks have been really difficult for you both so it's unsurprising that you're both struggling with things at the moment. 

I'm sure that you've been doing a great job in trying to keep Dad's spirits up and being able to talk about how he feels openly and honestly with you will have been a great comfort I'm sure. 

Have you had chance to speak to the the staff on the ward about what the next steps will be if he's not well enough for chemo? If Dad is still struggling with managing his pain levels then I would imagine that they would want to keep him in hospital or at least discharge home with regular visits from specialist nurses. It may be an option for Dad to have some respite care in a local hospice. 

If you'd like to chat things through with our team of nurses then do give them a call. I'm sure they'll be able to offer some support and advice. They're available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm. 

In the meantime please feel free to post here on the forum. Just as you are Dad's "safe space" we're here for you in that capacity. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator

Hi. Sorry to hear about your dads diagnosis. It can be very hard for a person to take on that kind of news. Hope can be a very powerful thing, and losing it very devastating. When my mum was in hospital last year for a broken leg she was full of hope of rehabilitating and going home. But while there, they diagnosed her with lung cancer that had spread to her breast and leg and wasn't treatable. She got very depressed (and she was always a very optimistic upbeat person) so we suggested she take some anti-anxiety and and anti-depressants. This was a big deal for her because she was very anti drugs. But she took them, and I think they helped her, but it took some time. She still had hope, because she was somewhat in denial about her prognosis and was sure she'd be getting some radiation therapy or something. It was only after a week in ICU for a COPD related incident that she completely lost hope. She was moved to palliative care and was told she was going to die. She too wanted to be euthanized. I tried to give her hope by telling her that we could get her moved to a nice facility where she could get some fresh air, music, good food etc. She seemed interested in that. 

The best you can do is spend as much time with him as possible. Make sure he has everything he needs, anything that can cheer him up. Maybe look into finding a nice hospice so he can enjoy his time better. Sounds like you are there for him, talking to him and listening to him and doing a great job. Just keep doing what you are doing. All the best.