Hi there - I'm sorry you've found yourself in this terribly sad situation & it can feel very isolating. There are lots of people here who will have had the experience you are having & no doubt will come along to offer some support.

My aunt died a few years ago now of lung cancer & your mum's experience sounds very similar. It may be the morphine which is causing the confusion - it did with my aunt & at times made her a little aggressive which was very unlike her. She too slept more & more & ate very, very little in the last week or two. I do think some people know when they are coming to the end of the their lives (my mum did). 

The nurses should monitor her for pain & there is no reason why she should be in pain so do keep an eye on that situation. Trust your own instincts would be my advice about how your mum is doing - advice is often difficult to give because individuals are so different. I can tell you that 3/4 days before my aunt passed away the nurses did tell us it would likely be a few days. Perhaps it is only near the end when they are able to tell.

I do hope this helps you a little. I'll think of you & your mum & hope that all comes peacefully for both your sakes - it very often does you know. Look after yourself best you can & do post again if you need to. xx

thankyou for your reply. It is a mixture of worry and feeling helpless. She has slept for a majority of the day today. I think she has managed half a jelly baby. I think she is weary as it has all happened so quickly.

You're welcome. It's very hard I know but I wouldn't worry too much about her not eating but when she's awake do see if she can drink a little something or keep her mouth moist. Sleeping is really the best thing - sometimes people just sleep away from us like my mum did. I think it's better for them. I do hope you don't feel I'm being too 'practical' as it were, but as an outsider it's so much easier to be more objective if you know what I mean. Your mum will be weary - that's what my aunt was like & we want them to wake up & be with us. That's where the helplessness comes in probably because we can't make it happen.

It's that awful helpless feeling that's so very difficult for you & I do understand it. We all feel that way in this situation & I wish there was something I could say to make it easier. All you can do is be there & do what you are no doubt already doing. 

Do post again if you need to. I'll be thinking of you & your mum. x