So sorry this is happening to you. I'm sure this must have something to do with your dad being re-diagnosed. It's probably brought all those old emotions about your mum back which really isn't unusual. Don't worry about those voicemails we all do things when distressed that we wouldn't normally do. You say you don't know how to feel - that's maybe shock & will probably settle down when things get a bit clearer about what's happening with your dad. Take things slowly & just accept that for the moment at least your'e back feeling the loss of your mum.

Hope this makes sense to you & helps a wee bit. Do post again if you feel you'd like to.

Take care x