Hello sweetie - what an awful situation for you & your mum. I'm not at all surprised you're struggling - anyone in your situation would feel the same way. You say your mum wants to come home. If it's possible it would be something you would be glad of later on but if not hospice care is wonderful & they'll make things as easy as possible for your mum & will help you too.

Losing a mum is one of the most awful things that happens especially if you're young as I think you must be. It will be important for you both to spend the time left together as much as you can &, if you can, try to give your mum the opportunity to talk about things if she wants to. You too must try to say all the things you want to say - tell her how much you love her & how much you appreciate her. 

Nothing will stop you feeling heartbroken but we human beings have a much greater capacity for coping than we think we have & somehow you will find a way of getting through each day & I'm sure that's what you'll find too. Your lovely mum brought you into the world to live a life & that means the good & the very, very sad too. You'll do your mum proud I'm sure by being there through whatever is to come & by doing that things will be easier for her & I know that's what you want. It won't take away the pain but it will make it easier to bear - truly it will.

Post here for support whenever you feel like it - someone will talk to you & help if they can.

Love to you x

Purrfect sent you such a truely lovely post so I will try to say something different and yet I also reiterate everything she said.

My heart goes out to you. Please get some support from the local cancer support groups they usually do free counselling for people in your situation.  I have been there in that I lost my dad a few years ago and its hard knowing all the things you will never do or share with them.  The pain never really goes away it just fades into the background after awhile but it comes back to the foreground every now and then particularly at milestones. 

However your mum is still here right now and so long as she is then you can share that precious time with her and make a few memories.   So long as she still can talk then talk to her and discuss all the things you wont get a chance to, ask her about her life and all the things that you might not know, or maybe what her hopes and dreams were when she was younger.  Is there anywhere in the world she wishes she could have gone and can you visit it virtually with google maps. You can use google maps to go all over the world.  You can visit zoos and watch pandas on cameras.  Find other ways to share things. If you are single and would wish her there for your wedding (that was a thing with me knowing that my dad would never give me away) maybe you could ask her to write you a letter for that day.  Or if you are married maybe she could write you a letter with advice about bringing up children.  Think about the things you wish to share later. Make as Many memories as you can.  Find things to Laugh about together despite the difficultness of the situation, this will be something to hold onto later.  By the way if that is you and your mum in your photo your mum has such a lovely warm smile. Hold it in your heart always.

Do you have any other siblings or are you an only child? I truely hope that you are not alone in this and that whether it is family or friends then I hope that you have some support. My thoughts are with you in this really difficult situation.

Take Care

Hi

Mum did come home but her pain is unmanageable again so possibly going back to the hospice again. It's been exhausting for me, my sister and my dad. I'm 30 and my sister is 28, and she has a 16 month old son. My mum is so upset he won't remember her. It's heartbreaking seeing her so emotional as my mum is such a strong Woman. I've had to help sort things financially and even cemetery plots. I feel like I'm just on autopilot a lot of the time, and then other times I cry so much I feel ill never stop

Xx

Hi, thanks for replying. 

At the stage now where mum can't stand up too long and going out for days out is a no go. Which is hard as my sister and I are very close with mum and always had girl days out. I'm here everyday, helping care for her, and it's heartbreaking watching her decline rapidly. But there's nowhere else I'd rather be.

My wife and I got married a few months ago, made sure we did it in time so mum would be here. My sister also married her husband too. So I'll always be thankful mum was here for our weddings. 

Yes that is my beautiful mum with myself and my sister. 

Xx

My beautiful Mum fell asleep at home 09/08/2019 with her husband, myself and my sister around her.

It still doesn't feel real yet. Mostly feeling numb. 

I love you so much Mum. Xxxxxxxx

Hello sweetie - I'm so terribly sorry you have lost your lovely mum & I know you will be heartbroken. Nothing anyone can say will ease your pain but knowing people understand it might help you to feel you are not alone - I hope so. When I replied to you in July I said that we human beings have a great capacity to cope with loss despite feeling we cannot. I still believe this to be true. You have found a way, no matter how difficult it must have been, to care for your mum whilst she was so very ill & somehow you & your family will find a way now as she would want I'm sure.

Please do continue to post if you need a bit of support from people who understand. Much love to you sweetie. xx