Hi, I’m new to these forums as my father has just been recently diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer and just feel like I need somewhere to come and discuss it all.

It’s just hard to really process it all as my dad isn’t one for talking about how he feels and his emotions but I can clearly see how much he’s struggling and I think this has all hit him quite hard!

the diagnostic process started about a month or 2 ago, he had been having pains in and around his hips and pelvis for some time now and when he went to his gp he had some bloods taken and I think it’s call his psa? Came back really high... 357 and I think they said for a man his age (54) it should be around 3.

He's then gone on to have a couple of scans I think a pet scan and ct scan and also some biopsies of his prostate.

i went with him today to get the results of all of the above and they’ve told us that he does have advanced prostate cancer and that they cannot cure it but he can be treated for it, but it has also spread to his nearby bones, his liver and his lungs... I just felt sick when they broke it to us and was trying to hold back my tears as I didn’t want to make it all about me and I want to be strong for him but it’s hard to think about losing him.

the specialist nurse took us to a room afterwards and was really nice, she explained things to us and told us what would happen next in regards to appointments and treatments she said he would be seen at the hospital within the next 2 weeks but in her opinion based on how my dad looks she doesn’t think he’s well enough or strong enough for chemotherapy. 

I just don’t know what to expect now going forward? He’s booked in to have his hormone injection on Wednesday next week so hopefully once he’s being treated that should hopefully ease some of his prostate pain and that can managed with regular injections every 3 months but I’m just really unsure what happens next with the rest of his cancer? Obviously it’s already spread to his liver, lungs and bones so how are they going to suppress that? If he isn’t well enough for chemo what would be the next option?

It’s just really hard seeing him like this! He’s lost so much weight he seems so frail and lacks energy all the time litterally doing simple things takes it out of him and I just don’t know what to do to help him. He’s a proud man and doesn’t like me and my brother making a fuss and trying to help him I can see the frustration in his face when he struggles with simple tasks but he is adamant he is fine.

i suppose it would be nice to hear from people who may have been through a similar situation to what I’ve described? I know  that with the hormone treatments for prostate cancer can be very well treated and that survival rates are high when it’s isolated solely within the prostate. But with his cancer having spread and him being so frail and maybe not being well enough for chemo I just honestly don’t know what to expect... is he going to continue to deteriorate or will they be able to offer some other alternative to help manage the spread?

any replies would be more than welcome and thank you in advance for taking the time to read and reply.