Hi there David...

So so sorry your going through this right now ... 53 is no age .. but cancer doesn't care ... it sucks ...

But you know all I'd say, is what I do ... go with the flow ... take each day as a bonus ... let your mum lead the way .. it's like a rollercoaster... we can be up one minute, then crash down, and just want to cry or vent ...it's all normal ... feeling will be all over the shop .. 

I lost my mum suddenly from a heart attack and had no chance to even say those things like I was so proud to be her daughter... you have that chance I never got ... tell her all what's in your heart ... ask her about her life ... I bet there's lots you don't know.... look through albums... if she wants to go out ... that's good .. if she's too tired .. all watch a film ... it's just being there ... 

I know coz I'm on my cancer journey.... and my son, let's me do things in my time .. he's just there .. he held my hand through my masectomy.. there when I came round .. just gently supporting...

So just go with it .. know you'll have lots of emotion to cope with too .. but you know it's o.k to all admit your scared .. it's even o.k to share tears ... and you know you just may get some lovely memories to ... they last a life time ... Chrissie x

Hello love, so sorry to hear you are going through this. 

My lovely mum got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last month and is currently recieving palliative care. I’m wondering- has your mother been offered any chemo? It would depend on her level of fitness, to withstand it. This may give her a little extra time. My mum unfortunately hasn’t been fit enough for it.

Regarding palliative care, she could have this at home, with visits from Macmillan / district nurses, as needed. They would provide pain relief, medications, dietary advice and refer you for emotional support if necessary. This could also be provided in a hospice if that is preferable, but it sounds like you have lots of support at home. 

It will probably take a bit of time for everyone to come to terms with it (my mum is still struggling despite being quite ill) - and some people cope by being in denial for a time, or being unfailingly optimistic. Remember, no one knows exactly how long your mum will have - doctors only estimate based on statistics and past cases etc. 

If your mum seems to be coping mentally and is able to get out and about, be grateful for that and value each day as you can.

There’s no denying this is a hard situation to be facing. But you will get through it. 

Keep in touch here if you need support. I’m going through an awful time, I must be honest. But take all the support you can. I’m thinking of you xxx