Hi gwhiz so sorry about your husband as you say it's a real shock. It's surprising how many people go to GP with something wrong only to find there's something else they never suspected Cancer, again I'm sorry, best wishes. Billy 

Thankyou Billygoat xxx

Jelcic ... We also thought of the term minion to try and lighten the mood. Send ing hugs to you and your family! It's very very hard isn't it , thankyou so much for your thoughts xxx

I'm so sorry to hear of your father-in-law's diagnosis. I'm in a similar situation with my lovely mum - she had suspected cancer at the beginning of April, CT results came back at the start of May confirming pancreatic cancer that's spread to her liver. No chemo or radiotherapy offered ( saying that she wouldn't have taken it if it was) and she's now pretty much bed bound, yellowing skin and so weak. She's aged 20 years in two months. It's horrifying and very hard to come to terms with, and just heartbreaking to see my beautiful, strong mother, who was a nurse herself, so diminished and vulnerable.  I spend as much time with her as I can, and my dad has been caring for her, although now the district  and Macmillan nurses are on board too.
I cry every day, but try to find small victories. She had a good night last night, and her appetite has improved over the last few days. The GP came today - her blood pressure and temperature are fine. I don't know if any of that means anything though?  I wish more than anything that she could better enjoy the time she has left. I'd love to hear from anyone else in a similar situation on how they cope when their loved one is terminal. 
Thank you x

Aww Celeste . Our stories are so similar. How’s your dad doing? I’ve ramped up the visits from Marie Curie and we have someone sleeping over tonight to give dad a good nights sleep hopefully. I’m worried about him too! 

Hi Jelcic,
He's OK,  but I've been very worried about him. His and my mum's relationship has been volatile to say the least, and cancer has a way of exposing the fault lines! But incredibly we've all managed to work through some of them, and they're more gentle with each other than they've been in over 20 years. I'm just sorry it's taken this. Mum isn't the easiest patient, plus she's getting a bit confused, but he's become more patient with her. I'm really thankful for the Macmillan and district nurses, and tomorrow night when I stay over I'll cover the night so he can sleep. 
Has your mum been prescribed lactolese? My mum has it and that's really helped with her appetite. She was prescribed steroids too for her liver but has refised to take them! 
xx

Yes that’s interesting as I think this has brought my mum and dad closer than I ever remember them being. Mums confusion has only started in the last few days, I’m guessing something is changing and it’s a question for the doctor on Wednesday. The nurses and carers are a godsend- mum decided early on to stay at home. Yes we have lactalose and trial and error to get the dose right ! Thinking of you...I know exactly how you’re feeling x

Yes, my mum staying at home too. Doctor told me that liver function is directly connected to the brain, so when the liver is compromised, brain gets confused. He said lactolose would help, but you're right, the dose is trial and error as it's a laxative as well! 
Thinking of you too, it's a rollercoaster isn't it. Do you have your own family? I have two chidlren who are very close to my mum. My eldest understands what's happening and we've talked about it, but my little one hasn't fully grasped as yet, although she knows my mum is very ill and has seen her a lot. I know I have to tell her properly but I want to leave as long as possible. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing by not explaining as yet. 

xxx

I’m an only child and we have a small family. If I remember back the grandparents I lost when I was young I don’t really remember how it was at the end and I only have happy memories. The grandparents I lost when I was older hit me harder as I think I had a bigger understanding of life and a closer relationship etc. My husband has no experience of death. His parents kept them away from his grandparents funerals etc. So now at 56 he is devasted at my mums diagnosis. I think it’s a fine balance between preparing them for the worst and protecting them. I’m not sure there’s an entirely right or wrong way. Just so tough xxx