Hey all,

So I have been reading these forums for a while now, but have never got myself around to post anything. But what I’ve learnt from the posts is that advice and support could really come a long way, and I feel like I need it more than ever now. 

My dad was diagnosed with intestinal cancer in late 2018. He is a well and fit 53 year old. He ate clean and healthy, he exercised and he was active. His diagnosis was a shock to everyone. When he was originally diagnosed, the doctors sounded so confident that we had caught it early and we could effectly possibly cure him within the next year. We were all hurt, but hopeful. As time progressed, there were ups and downs all the time and it was as if the rollercoaster ride would never end. He ended up having bowel blockage in January 2019 which prompted an emergency colostomy. He now has a stoma bag, which took a while to get adjusted to, but we thought it would only be a matter of months before he would have the reversal surgery. 

Following the operation, he was unable to continue his chemo, and so we had to wait for him to recover, so it would become possible to reconvene his chemo cycle. He eventually healed from the surgery however was extremely fragile, and had lost a significant amount of weight. After his next scan, we found out the cancer had metasised into his peritoneal cavity, and with a further scan, shown his liver is encased in growing cancer, which has also reached a nodule in his lungs. Currently, he is unable to walk, lost all of his weight and is extremely fragile. He can barely eat, maybe a spoon or two of soft food, here and there. 

We have now been told that the cancer is stable, which in medical terms means it hasn’t grown more than 25% in the last 3 weeks. However, I do have many questions. It’s like in a blink of an eye, the cancer spread from literally early stages, to becoming a stage 4. How did nobody see this happening? Why wasn’t he monitored enough? Our experience with the healthcare system has been awful. 

I get so angry sometimes, I wish I could donate my own organs to him to help him. At this point I have never even asked how long the doctors think he has left. Most of my family is in denial. I just want to try anything I can to help him, but I feel so helpless that I don’t know what to do. They have said surgery is not viable for him and there is too much and it would be hard for them to even get inside his abdominal area. I thought a de-bulking surgery would help but they said it was medically unviable. He would either never heal from it and have more perforations, or they wouldn’t even be able to get in. 

I an built up with some much anger. He never smoked, he always told us to be healthy, eat healthy, look after your body and exercise. But cancer had to get him. Why him? The question I ask every day. And he has battled through everything and the pain without moaning to us even once about it. Whenever we got bad news he always tried to be jolly in front of us so that we wouldn’t get upset, but I know how torn he must be feeling inside. Cancer really sucks. I don’t want to lose my dad, he’s way too young and he did everything to maintain a healthy lifestyle. But I guess cancer doesn’t discrimate against age or health or anything really. 

I’m sorry if I waffled on a bit. Just looking for some support or advice from anyone who’s gone through something similar. Or something to educate me further on what’s going on, what am I not doing, what should I be doing or what can help at this point. 

Thank you for reading.