Hello Euterpe and sorry to hear about your partner's diagnosis. It must be devastating news for you and I am sure he appreciates having you by his side during this difficult time. 

We've had several threads in the past from members who have been in a similar situation to yourself with partners who have learned the difficult news that they have glioblastoma. It can help to talk to someone else who understands and who is dealing with this and the impact it has on your daily lives. They will relate to your accurate description of feeling as if they were catapulted into a parallel universe. 

If you type the keywords glioblastoma in our forum search in the blue banner at the top, you will be able to find other relevant threads and feel free to respond to any which you feel are relevant to you. For example [@RebecaC]‍ posted this thread a while ago and [@gwan63]‍ also posted her story here and her husband was also diagnosed with glioblastoma. These are only a few examples and there are sadly many more on the forum affected by this cancer. 

I hope you will hear from others soon who are in a similar situation to you. We're all thinking of you during this terribly difficult time and I hope this forum will give you the support you need from others who can truly understand what you are going through at the moment. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Euterpe I am so sorry to hear your husband has been diagnosed with a Glioblastoma.  My husband was diagnosed last April, on his Birthday.  He had a strange sensation in his hand and lip, they thought he may be having a slight stroke.  He has not had any seizures and I pray he will not.  You are asking how people cope with this and I can only tell you how it’s been for me.  I live in a world where I pretend to everyone I’m doing fine, when deep down inside I am screaming.  Some days my husband is so ill and sleeps all the time, and I am in the depths of despair and the next day he is fine again.  Your emotions will be so low and so high in the blink of and eye ... but you will cope.  You will find an inner strength you didn’t know you had and you will give everything for your husband, to the exclusion of everyone including yourself.  I feel I cannot cry, if I do it’s in the shower where no one can see me.  I’m saying these things because I want you to know you are not alone in your despair, anger, grief ... we are all here to listen and help you through. You can feel angry and annoyed with him, sometimes I get so angry at him being so selfish then I remember how afraid he must be feeling. Your emotions will be up and down, highs and lows.  I feel very alone sometimes, friends have deserted me, my closed ones, the ones I thought would be there to love and comfort me and it’s brought great sadness .... others have appeared to show me what real friendship is about, but it’s not taken that sadness away.  I have lived In a parallel world for the past year, not part of anything but I would not swap my old life for my husband, I would rather live this way than without him. There is a new closeness that only you share and I can see when he looks at me how much he loves me, more than I ever thought before.  I may not have been able to help you make sense of this, I can’t, but just know I am here if you want to talk ..or scream and shout. It so unfair.  If you can contact your local hospice and go along there, they provide the best support I have ever had in my life.  The love they give to me is wonderful and I leave there with joy in my heart knowing they care.  Sending love from someone in the same place as you, we will both get there ... we are strong

Everything Gwan said is true.   I am in the same circumstances here in the US.  Steven had an accident where he banged his head chasing a paper plate across the yard and that started a chain of events that led to them finding his tumor. 

Gwan cries in the shower. I cry in the car during/from my commute to work.  This is the most _______ (dramatic, traumatic, earth shattering- pick your adjective) experience I have every experienced.  My life is nothing like it was before.  

I feel a need to keep it all together.   And my Steven is sick.  (i wrote very sick then deleted the very..  i don't want to even jinx myself like that).   So he can't do any of thing things i relied on him for. Steven was always the "man" fixing cars, lawn stuff, house repairs, driving, etc.  Now the kitchen sink leaks, every single warning light is on in the car, and the grass is up to my knees. (and hysterically I think i am doing a "good job" of keeping it together..)  Even our sex life has turned into something like an 80 year old couple might have.  We snuggle a lot, but he is a different person and being sick changes people.  He is sweeter right now and that is lovely.  But part of me wants him to be a total monster so I won't be completely devasted if he dies. (which is a *** thought... Oh, yes, you will have *** thoughts and then be ashamed of them that is normal.   You will lose your temper over stupid things. You will be ridiculous on things that don't matter.   Then you will come to your senses and realize that you only have a short time left with your partner and that all that other crap doesn't matter.  The sooner you remember that the better off you will be. But don't beat yourself up over anything that pops out of your mouth you are under an incredible amount of stress.

You will find you are stronger than you ever thought.   You will also feel weaker than you ever have before. Cause you can't fix it.  No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, this is the one thing that you have to give yourself over to the drs, God, or whatever/wherever you can give it to.

This is a devasting thing to endure.  I have never been so scared in my life. But just remember to breathe and try to enjoy each other.   Oh, and know that he is going to be out of his mind at times to.  You will deal with a range of emotions that I didn't even know existed.   He is going through something that is the WORST thing a person will ever have to deal with so listen to him. Give him space when he needs it.  Hold him whenever you can.   Give comfort.  And do whatever he wants.   He wants milkshakes everyday?  sure why not.  (Steven has a junkies need for milkshakes.  It is so bad that when he got weighed at check in, they brought the scale into his treatment room to double check the scale was right since he gained 10lbs in 3 weeks lol)  But right now I just do my best.   I manage as well as I'm able and that has to be enough.

Best of wishes to you and your partner.  If I can be of any help just let me know.   At least as far as answering questions go both Gwan and I have about a year under our belts.

kind regards

Rebecca