My uncle who I am very close with has had lymphoma for 5 years. His lymphoma was treated twice and has been in remission since. At around this time last year, he was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia, which he fought off amazingly. He finished his treatment and moved to the maintenance stage so was having chemo tablets every day and regular lumber punctures. At possibly the end of April/beginning of May, this cancer came back and was spreading quite quickly. The doctors assured that they would complete treatment again and try to fix the situation again although it would be less likely to work. They said that he was responding to the treatment and things felt really positive, until they turned another corner...
On 23rd May, the doctors confirmed that his cancer was spreading quicker than the chemo could, and that his cancer has gone into his spinal fluid. This meant that they could do no more for him. He came home and is now under palliative care.
My uncle has at many times been like a second dad to me, but always a best friend, so hearing this news was really hard as I’m sure many people on this forum will understand. The doctors advised that this would all happen and end very quickly, predicting weeks not months. We are now approaching week two and I am stunned by the lack of changes I have seen. My mum says she is noticing small things but I can’t see them. I am 22 and I’ve never seen anyone go through this before (fortunately) and I am so confused because none of what I had expecting is happening. My mum is trying really hard to explain and help me to understand but I don’t understand how he only has weeks but things don’t seem to have obviously changed. I’m glad, because I would hate to see him suffer but it’s giving me a false hope of thinking that maybe things will just be ok, and is also making me question whether I just can’t see things and therefore, will it surprise me more when I actually lose him?
I feel like I’m just rambling on if I’m honest, but I guess I’m wondering how everyone else deals with the lost feeling that comes when trying to understand cancer and death. And whether other people have diagnosis around them, that react in ways that they don’t expect. I’m not sure, and I’ve never used a forum like this before but I thought it may just help to write things down or speak to other people who are going through the same or similar things.
