hi / this is probably going to sound wrong but... a family member has terminal cancer, they know this but don’t know yet they have months to live. 

First when my partner was in this situation we were just told outright by the doctors - no discussion. In this case we are told medics are fishing to see if the person wants to know. Why the different treatment (same hospital and hospice btw).

Second because they don’t know (though they must suspect) they want to spend a huge amount of money (tens of thousands) on a purchase they will not be able to use. On the one hand yes let them do what the hell they want but on the other (and I know from my experience) that rightly or wrongly the one left behind has to think about financial issues.

Their partner is now in a terrible position - not wanting to share the diagnosis but also not wanting to spend all their savings on this.  Help!