Mum wants to stay at home

Hello

Im new to the forum .

mum was diagnosed with secondary liver cancer last month and is waiting on results of scans to find the primary. As a smoker I think it’s likely to be lungs as she’s been coughing .

She showed signs of jaundice and so the GP Sent her To the hospital for bloods etc but it took six hours and so she left and went home. She then had a panic attack in the night and said I’m never going back there.

She’s adamant that she’s in decline and wants no treatment and wants to stay in the house . My dad is respecting her wishes and looking into support available .  However a neighbour happened to mentioned that they had been scarred for life caring for their husband at the end. 

My question is what are the pros and cons of staying at home or going to a hospice ? I suffer with anxiety and although I’d like to think I could cope with looking after her at the end I need to know what that looks like .

 

thank you to everyone who reads and replies xx

  • Hello,

    I’m so sorry that you’re all going through this.

    I lost my mum a few weeks ago to lung cancer. 

    She was adamant that she wanted to stay at home but at the last minute a visiting Hospice nurse managed to persuade her to consider Hospice care. I’m so grateful that she did!

    She became very unwell, confused( from the secondary cancer in her brain) lost control of bowel and bladder and needed oxygen to aid her breathing. We managed to get her a Hospice room the day before she passed away.

    it was like walking into a warm hug, genuinely a beautiful, calming place. They have all the expertise and pain relief and a huge wealth of experience- it’s nothing like a hospital. 

    They will keep you informed every step of the way and keep the patient comfortable and sedated if required. Family are welcome at any time of the day or night and I’ll always be grateful for their care not only for my mum but for the whole family!

    The reality of caring for an end of life relative is hard, really hard. It’s physically and emotionally exhausting and your pain relief options are limited....Whatever route you decide to take I wish you all the best, K