I don’t really know how to start but my husband was diagnosed with rectal cancer on Christmas Eve of all times 2018, he has undergone treatment of radio and chemotherapy which appeared to be working, he is 54 years old and otherwise fit and healthy. A couple of weeks ago we were told that the treatment although initially had a good response it not been successful, this was as you probably all understand very disappointing and we were told that they needed some more tests and further colonoscopy. This was done last week and the findings indicated a total response to the treatment, however there was some nodularity on further examination. Although they can’t see any cancer left from the treatment there is an area of suspicion that they can’t tell us is cancerous or not unless they remove it as it is quite deep in the muscular wall, it may be scar tissue or cancer? As you can imagine this has been a traumatic time and there have been two options offered to us. One have surgery and a permanent stoma or wait three months and have a further MRI and colonoscopy which could spread if it is cancer and make things more difficult to operate on. If we have the surgery and it’s not cancer then procedure can not be reversed! It is not much of a choice as we between a rock and a hard place? Not really a choice at all. 

I was just wondering if anyone else in the forum has any thoughts, feelings advice of how they dealt with anything like this, we are scheduled for surgery next week and it’s very worrying, we didn’t want to take the risk of not having the surgery and it being cancer or developing into cancer. I have advised my husband l will support him with which ever choice he made but l feel so helpless and afraid for him at the same time as it is a major operation and decision.

l just thought that joining this forum may help me to give my husband the support he needs through gaining some insight from what others have had experienced. I love him and want the best possible outcome for him to carry on having as normal a life as possible. It must be so hard for him as he is healthy and well and hard for him to get his head around things because he feels and looks so well. I am scared and don’t want to lose him but want to support him without getting upset and then him worrying about me. I am normally quite strong with supporting others as used to this in my job but it’s very different when it’s your own loved ones that are affected by something like this. 

Any thoughts, ideas, feelings welcomed.

Thank you.

LaineyC.