Hello

My husband was diagnosed with small cell cancer of the prostate in Nov 18, he died not from the cancer but pneumonia on 19th Jan 19 . I am only telling you this to show that all stage 4s do not end in the same way.You May have lots of time left with your lovely husband,every situation is different for everyone, even with the same diagnosis.

 Cherish the time you have Together I look forward to things you will be doing after his treatments, we had plans to go to Spain in September 19 after his chemo , sadly it wasn’t to be , please try to keep thinking positively and looking to the future 

Best wishes

Hi Malgusha. I'm so sorry to hear what you and your husband are going through. My husband was diagnosed in July 2018 of a low-grade brain tumour, after experiencing focal seizures which affected his speech. By October, when they finally did a repeat MRI, the tumour had progressed to a grade 4 glioblastoma. He was due to have an awake craniotomy on November 5th, so we went away for a few days on the 31st October, hoping to take our minds off the surgery. Whilst we were away, he suffered a bleed on the brain and was admitted to the local hospital, transferred as an emergency to the local neuro hospital and had emergency surgery to remove the clot and debulk the tumour, overnight. Since then he has been paralysed on his left side and was discharged from hospital on the 11th December. He was given 3 weeks of radiotherapy, but chemo wasn't an option for him. I am now my husband's full time carer, and, like you, want to make the time he has left as good as possible. I am finding this extremely difficult as he, also, gets extremely frustrated by his lack of mobility etc. I have also realised his personality has changed, as he frequently becomes unreasonable, and has only today, demanded that I spend time with him all day, although he knows I never stop, cleaning, cooking and caring for him. I have spent the whole day in tears as I feel like I am failing him.  We received the news on Christmas Eve, that his prognosis was 6-12 months. He is only 62 and neither of us can accept that there is nothing we can do, but wait for the inevitable. 

Hi Cassio

many thanks for your response. I feel for you as it is very difficult living day to day. My husband can be very demanding as well but we do our best. I can understand how you feel as I am a full time carer as well. I gave up my full time job as soon as he diagnosed because he was my priority. You are not failing your husband in any way, It's the treatment and everything they have been through that is causing the change. Our children are both adults and they are struggling with the knowledge that they are going to lose their dad. I find it helpful to talk and I have many good friends who,give support but they admit they can't imagine how hard this is for us and it is good to be in touch with people actually going through the same thing. We go,to the brain tumour support group once a month and we get a lot from it. We have laughter advice and support. We were looking ahead to my retirement in 2 years time. He retired last April and had just 6months of enjoyment from it. We feel cheated for the loss of our future plans and the fact that with the treatment he is not capable of doing even small,things. All we can do is take each day at a time and accept our new normal life and treasure the good days. Someone suggested to my daughter that we keep a journal and write down the good things and the not so good. Havn't started it yet but thought it was a good idea. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. All of us caring for loved ones are doing a great job.