I wasn’t really sure where to go with this, but feel like I need to get all this out, and hopefully hear from some of you who are/have been in the same situation. My darling mum was diagnosed with terminal esophageal cancer around 18 months ago, we had a blissful year last year where she responded to treatment and life regained some level of normality. She had scans this year that showed the cancer is active again, meaning that she is now back on chemo to blast it. Dr’s are hopeful she will respond well again, but this has hit like a ton of bricks and I cannot comprehend the fact that my mum is not going to beat this. I want to have hope, and do around her because she wants to remain positive for as long as she can. We rarely talk about her prognosis and she tends to face things as they come. This is no bad thing but I worry she is hiding back and not expressing her fears. I’m crumbling and feel about 5 years old, not knowing how I could face a life without the one person who has been there since day 1. I honestly don’t think I could ever be happy again. I have a wonderful husband and friends, and I am also 3 months pregnant with our first child. So I am livid that I have been robbed of the happiness I should be feeling right now. Then I beat myself up for feeling that way when there are undoubtedly people in worse situations. I just don’t know how to be at the moment and know that I need help. Would be grateful to hear from anyone.