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Advice on how to provide emotional support to my partner

Moonchild
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Hi,

This is my first post to a forum but I'm at a total loss on how to provide adequate emotional support to my partner of 11 months following a terminal prognosis ( brain mets) 

The six month prognosis was given in September ( 4 months in to our relationship), whilst it's positive we've passed this date, my partner broke his hip some 6 weeks ago and recently had surgery meaning he's been off chemo and his hip isn't healing as would be hoped. I know he is scared, anxious, frustrated but it seems what ever I do, is wrong. I try my best to reassure him when he has difficult moments and mostly this is successful, however lately this leads to arguments between us which increases both our stress levels and my partner expressing the view he wants to end our relationship and often making unkind, untruthful and hurtful comments which he later apologises for and says he doesn't mean. 

I'm really struggling how to manage this in the best way for both of us, and advice will be gratefully received :D 

 

Thanks in advance, stacey

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    Hi sometimes ill people try to push away people they love thinking it won't hurt them so much if the worst happens we here of it a lot on here I know it doesn't work but that's what they think. Hope you can sort it out good luck. 

    Billy 

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    Yes this is a common issue, especially when your relationship is relatively new. You need to reassure him over and over again that you want to be with him and that you would be distraught if he pushed you away. He needs to know that you need him rather than you’re just sorry for him. This is a totally normal response from him but knowing that doesn’t make it any less exhausting for you. 

    I’m not a religious person but I do think that when his fight with cancer comes to an end you’ll feel more at peace if you know that you stuck by him no matter what. This won’t be easy but it will be appreciated by him even if he doesn’t show it. 

     

    Having said all that, nobody has the right to make abusive comments or make you feel bad about yourself. Stand up for yourself in those situations. By being strong and not treating him with kid gloves he might actually be reassured about the genuine feelings you have for him.,

     

    good luck, this can’t be easy for you. Sending hugs x

     

     

     

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