Is your dad having any treatment at all that can make a difference. 

Billy 

Hi. I know I’m not a doctor but I have been on psych meds since I was 17. Sometimes real life events can effect our treatment. I am no longer able to take antidepressants as they cause me to have psychosis, but am certainly aware that they can exacerbate things like anxiety and anger. If you have an appointment with your gp maybe discussing a different antidepressant? I’m not sure? Don’t feel bad about being me me me. In reality most people are, they’re just good at hiding it. I know that sounds horrible but it sounds like you are going through a ton at the moment and maybe your own health is taking a step backwards with your father being the centre of your attention and affection (totally understandable!) 

From one sensitive mind to another, I can only recommend focusing on your own health in order to be a stronger source of support for your father 

xo

pam

Thank you Billygoat and pj1985.

To confirm, my Dad is not having any treatment yet - we received diagnosis on Monday. They'd only got the biopsy results back on that day so there was no time for meetings and setting him up with an oncologist. That comes tomorrow after they have their initial meeting. It's an interesting point though because when I did see my GP today he said that I may start to feel better once we have treatment pathways and an answer on where we are going. At the moment my mind is skipping ahead because with it being incurable I instantly go to "palliative" and I'm led to believe that's not always quite the case. I'm always a glass half empty than glass half full person but GP is trying to get me to practice mindfulness than jumping to conclusions.

I have some frustrations with cancer... In the sense that everything seems to hinge around the survival rates - some of which on here are outdated/skewed and don't take into account some of the new treatments. Sorry if that sounds if I'm blaming someone because I'm not and I don't mean to sound that way. It's just a very fatalistic way of looking at things when in reality there are a number of diseases that my Dad was being tested for and could have been diagnosed with that are not cancer which have an equally as bad prognosis. We treat it as such a 'negative' disease in that sense. Sorry if this is not the right word.

As for my GP, they are not concerned yet about my reactions. They said this is completely normal given what I'm facing. They would worry if it's 4 or 6 weeks in and I'm not functioning. I have set up some counselling again to help me out with it. He said once we have the Oncology meeting it will start to fit together and I will be able to get the right support for myself and my Dad in place.

I've been having terrible guilt about being me, me, me... But I did realise that if I am going to do this I really do have to look after myself too to look after him and my mum.

Went to Dunelm this morning and burst into tears in the middle of the shop. It was awfully embarrassing. Dad is doing well considering mesothelioma is such an awful disease. You wouldn't even know he is sick right now. Fingers crossed this is a good sign and that it has been caught fairly early.

Can I ask... Are there many local support networks where people meet up face to face to discuss all things cancer? Wow, that sounds so morbid... But I really think that would be helpful.

I'm a little more at ease now. I'm very, very grateful for your responses because I've felt horribly isolated and I'm the type of person that needs to talk it out.

Don't worry so much my cancer is not curable I've had it over 3 years now it'depends where it is how much its spread what type of cancer what treatment they can take their are a lot of options. Hope it gets sorted soon. Good luck. 

Billy