Dear Jenni, I am sorry you find yourself in this whirlwind of what ifs and then what.  So let me tell you what we've done.  Two years ago my 71 year old husband was diagnosed with stage 4 incurable lung cancer, so I know how you feel.  He's had all the chemo, then radiotherapy and although it's been hard we have come through it and he is now stable disease mode, so not cured but still with me.  What I did was try to take it a day at a time, never expect too much but keep your spirit strong.  My husband just got on with it and we rarely discussed what if because we didn't know the answer.  Obviously I don't know how old you are, or about children or work so it's difficult to know what to say.  Each day I wrote a daily diary on this website and along the way have collected a few others in the same boat, we all bouy each other up on a daily basis, good or bad, you can always find time for a chat and a smile.  So post again if you need more support and don't Google!  Best wishes, Carol 

Carol , I am in floods of tears right now, but in a good way. I cannot tell you how soothing your words are to my addles brain!

My husand is 69 this year, he sounds just like your husband, his 'just get in with it' attitude is what is getting me through. We are off to the Maggie Centre today for a workshop on prepearing for Chemo. I am sure i will find this equally inspiring. 

Knowing there are 'Carol's' out there and we are all in this boat together is a comfort. Thank you for the time and trouble you took to reply to me, I don't have to explain how much kindness means, you know. 

Jenni xx

Dear Jenni, if you are struggling at any time just hop onto my Stay Strong page and chat with the girls on there.  We also have private messaging if you need to be more secure over certain matters.  Chin up and go with the flow, I think at our age we realise that you cannot alter what has happened.  I hope all goes well with the treatments but if you feel worried about how he is handling it, then get in touch.  Thank you for your kind words.  Carol x

Dear Jenni, just to advise you that you can get benefits to help with the cancer diagnosis, better food, more heating. Family invading regularly and having to feed the five thousand, well that's what it seems like with my lot!!  Your McMillan nurse will do this for you so mention it to them. Xx. Carol 

Hi jennib so sorry the treatment had to be stopped but it might have done some good with what he's already had. Kemo is not very nice at the best of times but most times it does good in the fight against C some people have very little side effects it depends on the type of kemo. Good luck best wishes.

Billy 

Thank you Carol, I will look at Stay Strong - great name! 

I am now chief dog walker and I use that time to really give myself a talking too; or just cry. Either way  I always come back feeling much better. Jx

Hi jennib I have to think positive, I've been living with cancer for over 3 years now it's not curable they give me kemo when the C count rises to much to lower it down but it rises again (never ending circle) one day it will rise to far. All being well a few years yet you never know. (sorry for getting morbid) I hope kemo works for your hubby, good luck and best wishes.

Billy 

Billy, I am with my husband 24/7 I watch everything he is going through and yet I cannot begin to imagine how it must feel to live with this illness. I feel for you and yours. 

Excuse my ignorance but can you explain what C count means? I am just getting to grip with the lingo.

J

HI( C count) is psa 4 is normally borderline below is okay higher is normally start of cancer it can go into the thousands when they first found mine it was 1500 now it's about 1.0 it's going up slowly specialist says weight till it gets to 20 then more kemo to get it down again. I just keep going on.

Billy

P.s I've C in prostate, lymph nodes, bones, (ribs spine & pelvis) when first found one lung as well. As I said before hope kemo works for him good luck and best wishes.