Hi all, new here! Apologies if this is in the wrong place!

My mom was diagnosed with Oropharyngeal cancer a few weeks ago, it was primarily in her mouth but has spread through her jaw and developed as a large tumour in her neck, including her lymph node - Stage 4, p16 negative, not fit for treatment at present due to being severly underweight and even if she is accepted for treatment eventually, there is only a 10-20% chance of it doing any good so overall very poor prognosis of 'months' :(.

Whilst she was in hospital she felt a small lump in her breast also which has now been diagnosed as a second primary cancer and not related to the above. However this cancer is very early stages and treatable - not that it makes a whole lot of difference given the stage 4 in her neck - pretty sure this new doctor hadn't fully read her notes as he was full of hope and confidence he will 'make her better' :|... yes anyway

My question is, I know some types on breast cancer are hereditary as I have been reading about the BRCA genes. So will they routinley test my mom for this gene and if its positive will I be able to be tested too? And my daughter when she is older?

I am so paranoid I am also at risk, the last few weeks since her diagnosis have been awful and it's really knocked me off my feet. I don't EVER want my children to feel how I am feeling at the moment, absolutley heartbroken and physically and emotionally drained. It's terrified me to the core as I was only of those 'it'll never happen to me' type of people as there's never been any other cancer diagnosis' in our family but see now how ignorant I was and the truth it really doesn't care who it attacks >:)