I am in the same position. My partner has been diagnosed with cancer of the tongue with a secondary cancer in his neck, in the last 4 weeks. Like yourselves because it was found quite early the chances of recovery are very high but he is angry and as the closest one to him I get the brunt of it.  He is a proud stubborn man and I think it is because this is something that he cannot control he feels helpless.

He also quite "old school" where the guy looks after the girl and isn't  comfortable with the roles potentially being reversed.

Possibly your partner feels the same way.  I can't really give advice on what to do because I'm struggling myself but I'd like you to know that it helps me to know that  I am not alone in feeling this way. I'm torn between feeling annoyed that he doesn't take my feelings into account and guilt for feeling that I should be considered when he is going through all these horrible treatments. 

Bear with him and keep your chin up.  Xxx