My gf is living with cancer and I don't know what to do

At the age of 19 I never expected to find the love of my life. You may think I am kidding but no I'm serious. 

But talking to her daily and being so far away and being in a secret relationship and I haven't come out to my parents, dealing with the fact she has been diagnosed with brain cancer has been devastating. 

 

I live in the UK and she lives in the US and her bad luck keeps continuing. 

 

Yesterday we talked about if things get worse, I should be prepared. How do I prepare or think about what if she does..as she has had cancer before (before we got together) and survived it but it is back and more aggressive.  

 

Just thinking about her not in my life makes me cry, whilst typing this makes me cry. 

I guess the questions I would like help with, are:

How do you 'prepare' just in case thinks get worse?

How do I reassure her I'm going to support her though it, as I think she is having doubts I might leave her. How can I? I cannot do that to someone I love.

What can I do/say to help her?

 

Thanks for reading 

 

 

  • Hello Pipstickcal123.  Sorry to hear about your girlfriend - how did you meet - I have never been to the USA (or maybe your friend has been over to Europe?)  I am sorry you don't feel able to tell your family about your sexual orientation - is there someone else in your family you could talk to and who would help you talk to  your parents?    I don't know how old your friend is but am guessing she has family and friends around who are helping her?    Just be there for her and listen to her; this is a hard thing to do long-distance but I am sure she will be pleased that you stick around and let her tell you everything she is thinking.  Best wishes.  Annie

  • Sorry I have no answers for you but she will need you to be strong that's for sure. My dad was recently diagnosed and it's been really tough. Wish you both all the best.

  • Thanks and Sorry to hear about your father getting diagnosed. I wish you and your family all the best too.
  • Hi and thank you so much for your reply and advice  it has been very helpful and I appreciate  it dearly.

     

    My girlfriend and I met on an app typical as that sounds nowadays. There really isn't a family member or anyone I can turn to as they are all pretty much homophobic.

    My girlfriend  is 18 and has a very supportive family who are very caring and take good care for her and also a supportive friendship group.

     

    I will definelty stick by her and listen to her etc for sure.

     

    Thanks again for your reply.

     

  • My best wishes to you in this difficult situation.  I will be away from home for the coming week but will be happy to write to  you again when I return.   In the meantime, while I don't know a lot about the lesbian and gay scene I am pretty sure you can get help from them on the net about your family problems.  Annie