Long distant relationship and my gf cancer may be back.

I've been with this girl for over a year now and she lived in the US  and I live  in the UK. I'm 19 and she is 18.  Anyways,  tonight she told me that she has been getting headaches and it's being going  on for  a while. She said she visited the doctors and they are monitoring her tumours that they couldn't remove when she first was diagnosed with brain cancer and since being in remittance for the last two years this has suddenly occurred.

 

She has had a very hard couple of years losing both her parents and I've lost many family members to cancer but I feel as though I don't know what to say, how to comfort her. All I want to say is that everything will be okay but deep down if her tumours are causing all this and if things take a turn for the worse. Hopefully  that isn't the case. Is there anything I can do? Is there anything I can say that can reassure her that I'm there for her and everything will be okay? 

 

My family don't know I'm in a same sex relationship and don't know I'm part of the lgbt community. So essentially I'm dealing with this on my own but I want to support  her the best I can. She's not only my girlfriend, she is my best friend and I really want to help In anyway I can.

 

  • Hello Pipstickcal123, 

    Thank you for sharing your story - you have come to the right place to talk to others who will understand exactly how you are feeling at the moment. You will be able to share things here anonymously without any fear. I can imagine it must be really hard for you to have to keep everything bottled up because your family doesn't know you are in a same sex relationship and I hope coming here and talking to others will help you find the strength you need at the moment to support her in the best way that you can.

    We also have some information on our website on how to support someone with cancer which may contain some helpful tips - not all of these will be relevant to you but I hope it will provide some good guidance on how to deal with the situation and how best to support your girlfriend at the moment. It must be really frustrating for you to be living so far away and to feel that you are limited in the amount of practical support, for example, that you can give her but I am sure she deeply appreciates that you are there for her even if you are not currently living in the same place. 

    I hope some of our members will be along soon to share their own experience with you of giving support to a loved one with cancer. In particular it would be interesting to hear from someone else who has been there for a loved one with cancer despite living far away and not being able to be physically there as often as they'd like. 

    Keep in touch if you can and rest assured we are all here for you whenever you need to talk. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator