Hey Hun, 

Welcome to the forum, even though the circumstances you find yourself here for are horrible. I'm so sorry to hear about your dads diagnosis, and it somehow makes it even more awful that you found out he was terminal a week before Christmas. My Nan found out she had Breast Cancer on Christmas Eve, she passed 6 months later, but now it means Christmas is always a little more hard. I'm so glad you made that Christmas a good one. 

In terms of help, you and your brother, I'll just add, are doing an amazing job. Your dad will be so proud of the commitment and love you've shown him. But you and your brother need rest too, or else you'll be no good to help your dad in the long run. Have you spoken to Macmillan or the Marie Curie nurses? The Macmillan Palliative care team were brilliant with my Aunty last year in her final months, and I'm not sure whether it differs in each area, but they can also arrange for carers to come and sit with your Dad, even if it's just for a couple of hours in the day and at night. Any little help will be massive to you, and give you and your brother time to recharge your batteries. 

Heres the Macmillan Support Website;

www.macmillan.org.uk/.../macmillan-support-line.html

And heres Marie Curie;

www.mariecurie.org.uk/.../nursing-services

I hope these help you, and never stop remembering the amazing job you're doing right now for your dad. You and your brother should be so proud of yourselves. There are not many that would do the same. It is a testament to how much you love your dad. If you ever want someone to speak to, just message me. I know sometimes it's easier to speak to someone neutral, as like you said yourself, you dont want to get upset in front of your Dad, which is understandable. So please, dont feel like you cant message, message anytime and I'll reply. You'll always have someone here for you on this wonderful forum. 

Lots of love to you, your brother and your dad. 

Alexia xxxx

Hi there so sorry your going through this heartbraking time.... there's so many right now ...

Is your dad at home or hospice ... because most hospices are so wonderfull, and know that's where I'd like to go, if I get to the point I need it ...

No wonder it's taking it's toll on you and your brother ... you'd need to be wonder woman and superman not to feel like you both are ...

You both need a day for the the two of you .. just do something fun .. the cinema , a meal .. or better still a pamper day ... you will come back with your batteries charged ... you battery at the mo is flat ... 

We all wish we had a magic wand and boundless energy ... but in reality we don't... if you and your brother don't do something you'll all collapse ... you know it's o.k to say " I'm not coping" it's o.k to cry .. it's o.k to feel angry at the situation ... we all get that ... your not alone ...

My sister's in late stage dementure. . And her taught goes every day ... even though it's turned her amazing mum into a lady who looses it with all of us ... but every so often we make her daughter have a weekend away .. somewhere to charge her battery again, and she always comes back more ready to carry on ...  

So you and bro have a good talk and listen to each other... admit how hard it is, admit how it makes you both feel ... no more feeling guilty .. you've both been amazing ... you've done so much .. so stop thinking what you havnt done and look at what you have done ...

Sending you a vertual hug to you , your bro, and dad ... some don't get any visitors. . Even just one hand to hold means more then you think ... Chrissie xx

Hi Lollypops, 

I found out early Dec that my Dad had an aggressive Cancer and we lost him mid Jan. 

I'm not sure how long your dear Dads been poorly but I understand the pain your experiencing. We literally had 7 weeks spending every second with my Dad. 

It took it's toll on all of us especially me and my sis. It's impossible for anyone to understand the utter hell hole unless they've been there themselves. 

I actually have no flipping idea how I did what I did watching my lovely Dad waste away in pain in front of my very eyes and being powerless to change a thing. I'm late 20's so don't live with my Dad and every day I got prepared to hop on stage for my Dad just to try and brighten his day a fraction.

It's been two months since I lost him and I don't know how I'm keeping going I really don't it's so terrible and I've been left a shell of my former self but somehow you just keep putting one foot in front the other. 

I really wish this road wasn't there for us to walk but please know that although you feel very alone you are not and many people understand the pain youre in. 

If you can just find a tiny weeny bit of self care in the day, for a walk, quick run or a bath and healthy food it will just give you a mini bit of strength to keep going. 

Sending love 

Message any time 

Rosie xxx