Caring for sister who has cancer of the colon, liver & lungs

Hi my sister age 60 is now living with me and my family she has cancer of the colon liver and lungs at stage 4 no treatment for her though if there was she wouldn’t have it my life has turned upside down since her diagnosis in jan 2019 she also has mental health problems  and is an alcoholic therefore drinking a bottle of baileys a day she has and still is an attention seeker she seems to have come dependant on me oh so much I get so angry and annoyed with her and I know I shouldn’t I’m temporarily on the sick to care for her but I think I’m losing the will to live I am a mother of six so my house is hectic most of the time though my children are all adults and most have partners you can imagine the mayhem and noise which I’m use to but my sister with no children  at all is not this causes a lot of problems she’s not happy with the mayhem my sister has been given a short life span of tops six months which is devastating I’m unsure as to whether I should return to work for a while but at the same time I feel guilty to leave her any suggest anyone? X

  • Hi there ...

    You've opened your home to your sister, which is so lovely ... but it's taking it's toll on you, and looks like your feeling a bit stuck with catch 22 on the way forward ...

    Your sister is only going to get sicker and more dependant as time passes ... l think esp with a big family, you are trying to be super woman, and then confused who you feel so low ...

    I'm sure there's help you can get from McMillan or Marie Currie. . Who both offer respite care .. if you can get that in place, could it be possible to go half way and go back part time ... l think you need time away from the situation as it's taking it's toll on your health ... 

    If i was your sister, I'd want to go into a care home where you could visit and take that extra strain off you .. and then have the option of a hospice ... l know that's what I'd choose and I've told my family if ever it comes to it .... then you'll get quality time with her ... know she's being cared for .. and you get back a bit of normality ... and then your kids are free to come and go ... and she's away from the busy house when they visit ...

    Give Marie Currie a ring and tell them your trying hard but really not coping and ask your options and get advice ...   hope that helps a tad ...   Chrissie xx