Hi Els,

Welcome to the forum, although I'm sorry for the reason that has brought you here. It sounds as if you are going through a pretty tough time at the moment.

It is so difficult to tell you exactly what to expect at the end. We are all individuals and remain that way to the end, so what one person does, may not be what another does.

Is your grandad at home, in hospital or in a hospice? They say that hearing is the last sense to go, so the chances are that he can still hear. Being beside him, talking to him, perhaps even reassuring him that he can go at any time now. Don't forget to tell him how much you love him. Most people stop eating and drinking before the end, although this is not always the case. You will find that your grandad will sleep a lot more than usual. Some of this may be due to increased pain relief medication too.

You will also possibly find that his arms and legs will gradually get colder from the extremities upwards. Death usually follows quite quickly after the death rattle starts. It is not unusual for him to imagine people who have passed before him in the room, or for him to appear agitated.

I would expect that the biggest help you can be is by being there by his side. Having lost my mother and father-in-law 4 months apart, one in September and one in January, I know how hard you will be finding it all at the moment.

I am thinking of you and praying that you find the strength to see this through.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you're coping. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx