Dear Kathie; don't expect too much from yourself.  I was so sad about your comment about cooking a meal; I expect that this just felt like the ultimate failure.  Anyone who has a husband or partner they love dearly would be knocked to six by these circumstances.  Do you have other family and/or friends with whom you can talk about what  you are feeling?   Or who can help you?  Please don't try to do everything if there are people who would help you with some of your tasks.   You are very welcome to let your feelings spill out here also as (too many) people have been in a similar position to yourself.  I for one have lost family and friends to cancer and know how devastating it is.    I hope things improve for you both.  Annie