Hi Edward,

I’m so sorry to hear about your Mum, that must be such a terrible shock for you all to deal with.

without wanting to make any assumptions, given your Mum’s age, it sounds like you’re a grown man. I really feel it’s not a good idea and not healthy to be keeping this a secret from your brother.   Not only is it not fair on your brother to be kept in the dark, it’s also unfair on you to be asked to keep that big a secret.

unfortunately given your Mum’s diagnosis, treatment is needed and no doubt this will give it away anyhow. I understand why your parents have asked you to keep confidence with this, but I think a chat is needed with them to explain it’s not good for you to carry this on your own. It’ll also bring your family closer together if everyone is aware of the situation, which is so important at a time like this.

Its perfectly fine to feel the way you are, it’s normal but that doesn’t make it any easier. I lost my Mum to Cancer at 8 and now 26 years later my Dad is also terminal. My one regret is we didn’t share this sooner so we could all support each other more, before it is too late.

youll have to be sensitive about it, but perhaps try having a chat with your parents to let them know how you’re feeling? You are their son too, and they won’t want you to be worrying anymore than is expected ina situation like this. I hope your Mum can have treatment and it’s a recovery situation, but I’m always here if you feel you need to chat.

take care mate,

Tom