Hello everyone. I'm a 18 year old with no siblings or farther. My mother has been my world and all I have in this world. 2 months ago she was having some issues and a few weeks later we were told she has sarcoma cancer. Today the doctors told us that there is nothing they can do. She's too weak and the cancer has spread too much, she's currently on oxygen and she has lost 30 kg in 2 months, she can't speak and she can barely breathe. I'm really scared. I know she will pass soon and i'm not ready to let go. When I vist her in hospital she cries and cries for me and I just can't do anything. I feel weak I feel helpless I feel so useless. I'm scared that once she passes I will no longer have that sense of family again and the house i've grown up in for 18 years will be taken and God knows where I will end up. I sit in my room alone and I feel like i'm a foreginer. The walls feel unknown even thought they've watched me grow. My chest feels like it has the weight of the solar system forged into them and I just have no idea what to do now. I've ran out of hope. My grandparents are with me and so are my uncles and aunties. Yet I still feel so ailentated? I've never delt with the loss of ANY family member. How God works in mystrious ways.
I'm looking for advice on what to do. I don't want to speak with my extended family because I don't feel comfortable around them.