I felt I had to reply to you as, while my situation is not the same as yours, I still feel torn between my father who has metastatic melanoma in both lungs and brain and my husband,  who I have had to abandon in Spain, to care for my father and stepmother who has also taken to her bed! My husband was very polite when I told him I would not be able to fly back for the time being but I feel that the short weeks or months I will have to spend caring in the UK are only a pause in the life we have made together.  If he choses not to support me in this decision then he can just stuff it where the sun don't shine! Do not move out of your home, if your husband really can't cope with you spending precious time with your mum in order to support her in this crisis suggest that he takes some time out himself. I really wish you all the best and hope that you can come to an understanding with him, write down your issues, pass them to him and ask him to do the same, it avoids direct confrontation.  I'm going now as I'm rambling. Good luck.