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Incurable oesophagus cancer, coping

Jwalto91
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Hello everyone, this is lengthy so I apologise, I don’t really know why I’m writing but I feel I need too.

i posted a couple of weeks ago (feels like months ago!!) about my grandad receiving the news that he has advanced oesophageal cancer that unfortunately is incurable, they offered palliative radiotherapy.

well we went to my grandads next appointment yesterday (it was meant to be the week before but the appointment letter arrived the day after the appointment was scheduled! Helpful!)

they spoke with my grandad about the radiotherapy and said he will only be having 5 days treatment and be seen again 4 weeks after the treatment. After asking questions etc and a lengthy discussion the appointment was over, the dr and nurse were lovely and I couldn’t fault them at all.

anyway after the appointment my grandmother also had an appointment in the same hospital, I felt I still hadn’t cleared all my questions in my mind so asked my grandad if he minded if I went back to speak to the doctor again, he was fine with this.

i had to ask the question, I had to know how long my grandad had left, as he did not broach this, so he obviously doesn’t want to know. 

I spoke with the doctor and asked what the progression will be like and what to expect as I feel I need to plan ahead, he told me it would be a gradual decline and he estimated 6-12 months. 

Firstly I am completely numb, and shocked, shocked that he is only getting 5 days treatment, shocked that the cancer is so advanced.I’m a pretty emotional person and my reaction to this is baffling me, I haven’t shed one tear, I know I’m sad and absolutely devastated than my grandad is going to leave us due to this awful disease, and the suffering he is likely to endure in the coming months, but I don’t feel these emotions. I feel detached from myself and don’t understand it. I also feel bad that I know his life expectancy. and my grandparents don’t,  but they are worriers and I know if they know this information it will destroy them, I need them to have the hope and the fight in them and if I disclose this they won’t have that.

so yeah, don’t know what I’m looking to gain I just had to vent.

thanks for reading x

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    Hi, I am so sorry about the prognosis you received for your Granddad. I hope you are all coping OK and receiving support from Macmillan.

    I can completely empathise with you and actually learnt something from your post! 

    My Dad was diagnosed with incurable oesophagus cancer just before Christmas, T4 they said. We still don’t have any treatment plan in place as there is uncertainty over if the surrounding lymph nodes have been affected by the cancer, he’ll be having a biopsy in the coming few days.

    There has been mention of 5 days of radiotherapy then they will look to see if chemo is an option or not considering his heart problem. So, if 5 days of radiotherapy could possibly give us 6-12 months with him that is better than we were thinking. I am crossing everything that they can do more as I have also been confused as to why only 5 days. 

    Have you had a chance since the initial meeting to ask why only 5 days for your Granddad?

    Tris. (())

  • Offline in reply to tris102

    Hello Tris, 

    thank you for your reply. And I am so very sorry to hear of your dad’s diagnoses.

    i Havent spoken to anyone yet, but I am planning on phoning the specialist nurse on Monday to ask the reason behind this. i would think that due to my grandads cancer having spread to lymph nodes higher up the oesophagus aswell as around the tumour, and given his age (82) and the tumour is substantial, I don’t think having more is worth it, I know from research that radiotherapy to the oesophagus can be pretty tough. 

    The doctor did say that if and when the cancer spreads, they may be able to give more radiotherapy if my grandad wishes to, but only to relieve any symptoms that might come from this. 

    Jessica x

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