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About to lose my mum

SprinkleFairyDust
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Hi everyone, 

I am not sure where to start; my beautiful mum was diagnosed with lung cancer in September and bowel cancer in November, both stage 4.

She has been so strong for so long, but today it was like a switch was flicked and she has rapidly detoriated. 

Just yesterday I was chatting to her about my upcoming wedding & then today I get a call to come home as she could go any day. She is now in a hosptial bed in our dining room, she isn't lucid and it feels like she doesn't know who we are. 

I am so shocked at how sudden this has happened and my heart is absolutely broken. I can't stop crying & have no idea what to do. My dad and I just feel like we are in a nightmare & I know everything is going to get worse, I feel so hopeless. 

:(

 

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    Hello there!

     

    im sorry to hear this. It is always a shock, even though one thinks one is prepared: when the moment arrives, it’s awful. 

    The same happened with my dad is 2013 and is about to happen to my mum. Cry when you need to.. I think the worst thing we do is suppress emotions. You have the chat here and I’m sure others will be more helpful than I am. Take care of yourself.. if you’re running on empty, that makes things worse. xx Soph

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    Very sorry to hear of your sad situation.  I lost My Mum just a few weeks ago and the pain is awful.

    I can only say that you and your Dad are there for each other and I hope you can both find some support from each other. It may also help if you have any other relatives or friends who you could reach out to.

    Thinking of you

     

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    Hello SprinkleFairyDust; welcome to the forum.  This must have been a shock for you.  It is bad enough knowing that your beloved mum is seriously ill and that you will lose her at some time but you are now slap bang up aginst it and it is frightening.  Hearing is believed to be the last sense to go so do talk to your mum; she will like to hear the voices of her beloved family.Ensure she is not suffering discomfort/pain. I hope you are getting good information and support from visiting nurses.   I am attaching a link to a section of this website which deals with the final days and weeks of life; it may help you.     You will manage to cope because you love your mum; I am sure there is nothing you wouldn't do to ensure your mum is comfortable and feels loved.   Annie

    www.cancerresearchuk.org/.../last-few-weeks-and-days

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    so sorry to hear about your mum, i lost mine Oct and dad in Dec and its horrible to watch them fade away ... all i did was spend as much time with my dad while i was caring for him when he was talking gibberish i just listened and nodded and when he was lucid we had good chats about what he wanted and about things he had done in his past, we played music and watched his favourite tv shows.. my dad was my hero and i miss him terribly and would give anything for 1 more minute with him so have no regrets because even if your mum or you think your mum doesnt understand what you are saying or if she is sleeping im 100% sure my dad heard every word ... i dont think my dads passing was the hard part because it was expected and i just wanted him out of pain and with mum but its the afterwards that is killing me ... the regrets the things i should have said or just should have held his hand more .. 

    ive not cried and i think im still numb and in shock 

     

    be strong x be brave x 

     

    L x 

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    I really hope your okay. My mum has stage 4 cancer and we are all really scared aswell. Life is tough and you have no idea how you get through it, but you do! Tell your Mum how much you love her. 

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    Hi everyone,

    My mum sadly passed away yesterday, exactly a week after I posted this. Everyone was amazed that she hung on for so long, she waited until my family from up North could be with her, she was surronded with everyone who loved her the most, at home which is what she wanted. 

    The hard part is over for mum & now will be the hardest part for all of us. Thank you everyone for your kind words. <3 

    xx

  • Offline in reply to SprinkleFairyDust

    My deepest sympathies.  Sounds like you got some comfort from the fact that all your family were there.  As you say, the hardest part is now for all of you. I won't say I know exactly how you feel because we are all different in some way. There will no doubt  be pain; I am struggling with it and it is awful.  Your family will be very important in supporting each of you.

    Wishing you peace

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