Stage 4 Lymphoma with Stage 4 Kidney Failure

Christmas Eve was the day we found out my dad has Stage 4 B-Cell Double Hit Lymphoma with NK Cell involvement and tumours in various organs and nodes. It was pretty gutting to find out but luckily my dad has a very poor understanding of what exactly it means. Ignorance is bliss in this case.

He had his pre-chemo PET scan on Thursday and we found out today he has Stage 4 kidney failure and is unable to start chemo treatment on Monday like he was meant to. He is now booked in for surgery on the 24th Jan to see if they can do some repair work to his kidney's or at least unblock the tubes that are being compressed by the tumours in his chest cavity.

Feeling the optimisim fade a little. They are not sure if the operation will make his kidneys strong enough for chemo and without chemo, there is limited choice for treatment. I have noticed he is a lot more down than he was and when he was out today, I popped into his house to use the loo and saw his will etc on the table and I know he is preparing for the worst case scenario. It's like a punch to the gut and I am scared for him.

Most of all I want to do something to make him feel better but I don't think I can. Any advice from anyone on how to support him?

  • Hi there ..

    So sorry your going through this heartbraking time ... but you'll always find someone here that knows how it feels ... and have been where you are now ...

    All I can say is, when I had a grade 3 lump diagnosed, I too wrote my funeral plans .. what music I wanted .. and letters to those I loved ... l felt so much better once I did them ... it was like a weight lifted from my shoulders, and then I could get back to living in the day .. and making the most of every day I've been given ...

    It is no bad thing .. in fact when they go suddenly, you don't get the chance to find out what they want to happen .. and where cancer takes away control ... that gives us some back ... so talk to your dad ... or listen to what he wants to say ... share fears, and tears ... and admit your both scared .. and once he knows you will listen to him, he just may open his heart and you can both walk this journey together ...

    Sending you a vertual hug ... Chrissie xx

  • hi my husband as this its been 3 months when they told us he had no more than 6 months to live all the tratments did not work for him  chemo ect all you can do is support him as much as you can we live day to day and never talk about the cancer works for us stay strong for him and good luck