Hi there ...

I think a call to the nurses here, or McMillan ... on their site .. Will be able to tell you where to go, or who to contact ... it does seem strange, she's not with an oncology team, and nurses ... but give them a ring ... their numbers on this home page ... and you can talk to someone personally..

Good luck ... always here if you need a chat ...  Chrissie x

Hey hun  

Firstly, I'm so sorry to you and your family for what's happening with your MIL.

As Chriss and yourself said, I would imagine an onocologist would still need to be involved with her care, even though she isn't having treatment. Surely they should be there to answer any cancer related questions you all may have, and to send you in the right direction for any other kind of support and help. 

I would also do as Chriss said, and contact either the Nurses here or contact someone at Macmillan and ask them what they feel is right for the situation. 

Either way, I send you lots of love and hugs to you all. 

A xxxx

Hi 

My MIL is under her own doctor /district nurses and a nice MacMillan nurse but hasn't seen an Oncologist ...the doctor at the hospital was reluctant to refer her as I got my sister in law to ring and ask him more questions and he said because her Mam had said no treatment he wouldn't go against her wishes which is fair enuf re treatment ...but another friend of mine said she should be talking to an Oncologist for information to help her cope with her situation. ..she really isn't well at the moment isn't eating much bringing up gunge has lost weight and has had 3 falls in the last 8 days as her legs are so weak .  The Macmillan nurse is coming out on monday for the 2nd time unfortunately I'm at work so can't be there or I would ask ...maybe I'll ring her myself altho the number she left is for a team rather than direct

Thanks for yr help  

Thankyou for ur advice ..I'm going to ring the Macmillan nurses and ask what they think ...my MIL is under a nice MacMillan nurse and district nurses too but not an Oncologist ....I think she has resigned herself to her situation and I feel has given up which is very sad. ..I know she doesn't want treatment as the doctor has said it may be in 2 places but I want to know more so we can help her if she is in the last stages of this disease and think an Oncologist is the right person for her care 

Hi Classy,

The consultant surgeon who diagnosed me was similarly negative about my prospects and told me in October that I'd maybe not see Christmas - that was in 2013. I did see a consultant oncologist the following week who gave me slightly better odds than the surgeon.

I'd hate to give false hope but the oncologist gave me a little hope and luckily I lived to tell the tale. If I hadn't consulted the oncologist and tried chemo, I'm convinced I would have died in early 2014.

In your MIL's position, I'd ring the surgeon's medical secretary and request an urgent referral to the oncologist and make it clear that there'd be a formal complaint if this didn't happen quickly. There's too much at stake for politeness and frankly this probably sits outside the job description of a MacMillan nurse. The NHS is very hierarchical and a referral from her surgeon is more likely to quickly get the desired result. 

Good luck

Dave

Thankyou very much for ur advice Dave ...I will ring tomorrow and request a meeting with the oncologist ...I wasn't sure if I was able to do this being the daughter in law ...will the oncologist speak to me without my MIL being there as she isn't good at the moment ? We just want information really and I think the doctor has written her off without a referral 

Bernie 

Just another question Dave will the Oncologist still see us if my MIL has decided against any treatment?

Hi Bernie,

That's a tricky question - it should really be your MIL who requests the meeting.

Without her express permission to discuss her case with you, anyone talking to you about her risks breaching her right to confidentiality and could be sued. However, she is entitled to make an informed decision about her own care and it could be argued that by not referring her to an oncologst, the surgeon has denied her that opportunity. 

Just to complicate things, it may be that the decision not to refer was taken at an MDT meeting attended by the oncologist and was a joint decision by both doctors. That seems unlikely though.

Good luck in getting this resolved.

Dave