Carys, im so sorry to hear you've been through so much this year.

Hopefully your mum's cancer will be cured, nothing is impossible and stage 2 does not sound ominous. 

I know how difficult it is. My mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer earlier this year and passed away 5 weeks later.

I live in the UK but I'm not British and it was extremely difficult for me to cope with her illness and not being able to look after her. I went through each and every stage of grief even before she died..shock, anger, extreme sadness and it is still difficult for me to realise that I won't see her again. So i know that your dad's passing and your mum's illness must be causing you severe distress.

I have started psychotherapy which I find very helpful but I also speak frequently to family and friends. I'm not ashamed or afraid to say I feel like an abandoned little girl despite my 44 years. Sometimes it is easier to a knowledge our weaknesses and fears. 

I'm sure time will help you to  come to terms with your difficulties..meanwhie make sure you don't neglect to take good care of yourself

Regards 

Psyche