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Struggling with girlfriend metastastic brain cancer

Sqja22
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Hi, 

me and my girlfriend have been together for nearly 2 years and it’s been a few months since she’s been diagnosed with breast cancer which has spread to her brain. I’m finding it very hard to deal with as I’m not able to see her often, she keeps me in the dark with some of it and it hurts because I literally cry and cry every night. My world has fallen apart, our dreams feels like it’s been shattered. Nothing makes me or her smile no more, I feel like I’ve nothing to live for but her but when she leaves me as in passes it feel like it will be the end for me. I feel like I’ve let her down so much and I don’t know what I can do for her, how to be there for her. We had dreams of getting married, having children, named all our children and where we would live. Now that’s just seems like it will never ever happen. We’re very young, I haven’t heard of anyone having it this young.. I don’t want to say age but we’re both between 19-25. I miss her like crazy all the time like when I’m not with her I’m scared or don’t hear from her my heart cries. I I just want to know if anyone has experienced this and know how to deal with it also anyway and and anything I can do to make her smile even temporarily? 

 

Thanks

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    Hello and welcome to the forum.  I am so sorry your hopes of happiness are being destroyed in this way.  It does seem so harsh and unlucky when a young person is losing the battle against cancer.  I have no experience of your situation myself but wanted to say hello and try to help you.    Hard as I am sure it must be, try not to show your distress so much as this may well add to the distress felt already by your girlfriend.  Try to treat her as the girlfriend you love and not just as a cancer patient.   Your obvious distress may be part of the reason why she does not tell you everything.    I am guessing - rightly or wrongly - that your girlfriend is living at home with her parents who are her main carers?  Talk to them about how best to make your girlfriend feel that she is still the girl you fell in love with; talk about things you have enjoyed and not just the current awfulness.    This is a hard experience for you and I can understand that you feel lost.  Please also - if it helps you - come to this forum whenever it all feels more than you can handle.  Annie

  • Offline in reply to Annieliz

    Hello Annie, 

     

    thank you so much for replying and trying to give me the advice, I do so much to make her remember all our good times but it just makes her sad because all the time a new event or something comes along that we would’ve been at a year ago and she gets sad that we can’t go do things like that anymore. I give her hope everyday I know she is fighting but she fights too much because she ends up stressing herself out. I’ve spoken to her family, nurses .. all the suggest is that she needs the rest but it’s hard because she hates it I know she hates it, she can’t even eat her favourite foods. I need some help myself because I keep breaking down, every night, every time I even speak to her I try so hard to smile and make her smile but there’s always a tear in my eye. Do you know where I could get help or speak to people that may be experiencing similar issues?

     

    thank you for replying.

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