Hello Tinkerbell

 I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. You sound very close to each other and as you say, he has so many good times ahead of him.

 It is incredibly difficult when you first get the diagnosis of cancer to think straight and not panic – that is everyone’s initial reaction.  The best advice I can give you is to try and write down a list of questions that you want the answer two from your dads medical team and make sure you get as many answers as possible when you see them.

 Whatever you do, don’t be tempted to stray onto the Internet and start googling..... there are far too many badly researched websites out there and you will read horror stories you don’t need to read. Stick to the main to websites, cancer research and Macmillan.

 It is also really important that you try very hard to look after yourself, especially as you are mum to such a young toddler. 

 No doubt there will be more people along soon to offer support for your dads  specific cancer,... i’m afraid I have no experience  in those areas. 

 Many, many people live long and fulfilling lives with cancer, many, many people are cured, just try very hard to stay in the moment, don’t think too far ahead – your dad will be in excellent hands, his medical team will have been through this many times before and will know what is the best course of action and treatment for him. 

 I’m so sorry you are all going through this, my thoughts are with you. 

Ruth x

Hi Tinkerbell,

I am really sorry to hear about your story.

I have just come on here to research something for my own father but felt I needed to reply.

I am very close to my father and he has been battling cancer for nearly 10 and 1/2 years now.

He was told in an awful appointment in July 2008 that he had stage 4 bowel cancer which had spread to the liver and that there was little hope. It such a hard dreadful thing to be told and hear about someone you love.

They gave him infusions of chemotherapy and to their utter surprise the rumours shrank to such an extent surgery and radiotherapy were possible.  

There have been many complications along the way, many moments I have felt as if my heart dropped through the floor, it has recurred in his brain, lungs and now it looks as though he may have skin cancer ... but we have had time. Valuable time whereby he has seen my own family grow.

The appointment we had initially made it sound he was lost already but you never know how a person will react to treatment and what is available, keep hope and keep strong for your Dad and you son.

thinking of you x

Sorry to hear your news. I would agree you need to look after yourself as well as your baby also, as it will be challenging/tiring. My uncle had a rare and aggressive form of pancreatic cancer (unsure what stage/type it was) which eventually spread to his liver. He had an operation, which in one sense I wonder if it made him weaker, but naturally he wanted to fight it. It took a lot out of him and he had very little energy after it. Wasn't able for many visitors/long visits. Maybe the doctor/oncologist would be better able to answer your query re. back pain, as I'm unsure about it.

Unfortunately my uncle didn't get long after his operation (4 months) and I think he got a diagnosis about a year prior to the op. Wish I had better news on that front,  but that doesn't mean ur dad will be the same. I haven't heard any great recovery stories form this awful disease but everyone is different. Cancer can be a strange disease how it affects everyone differently. I have read one miracle on this forum related to skull cancer and salivary gland cancer where someone was told they had terminal cancer and then was in a position to be suitable for chemo which shrunk the tumour and is now cancer free. Either way..make the most of the time with your dad. 

Thank you for your reply it really meant a lot xxx 

This actually made me cry. I’m really sorry, it’s awful I hate cancer. On Wednesday we have a meeting regarding the results? Do you know what happens and things. Can you tell

me what this meeting is like xxx

Hi,

So sorry to read about your Dad.

In my own meeting at that point I was given confirmation of the type and stage of the cancer.

We talked about what type of treatment was and wasn’t available and I asked how long I was likely to have with and without treatment. A hard question to ask, but I needed to know what I was fighting. A week later I started chemo. 

It will be hard for you all, whatever the news is.

Good luck

Dave

Ok. Thank you, may I ask what stage you are and that your still fighting? Thanks