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Skyscloudy
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My mom has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer they won't give chemo or radiotherapy. As she has other health problems. I'm dealing with it really well at work and with my mom and family. But when I'm at home I cry all the time. I work within the care industry and know only too well what we face as I see it a lot. But it's my mom and don't know how to deal with this

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    Hi Skyscloudy,

    I am so sorry to hear about your mum's diagnosis and the fact that she cannot have chemo or radiotherapy.

    This is not an easy time - I lost my own mum to metastases from breast cancer 21 years ago and know how hard it was. Sadly, working in the care industry does you no favours, in this instance. It is a totally different situation dealing with your mum as opposed to those at work and you know only too well what the eventual outcome is.

    I am thinking of you and wishing you the strength to see this through.

    Please keep in touch. We are always here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

     

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    Sky’s cloudy,

    Ditto Jolamine. I am sorry too to hear what you and your mum are going through but after reading your news, it made me feel that I’m not alone on my very similar journey. My mum came into hospital with abdominal pain less than a week ago and is coming home today with weeks to live. I hope you have support and don’t try to do this alone. I have two sisters and we have husbands and kids. I am a nurse and still scared and unprepared. I have just read the piece on this website about it all and derived some comfort. I am using the time to tell my mum how brilliant she has been all our lives and reassuring her that we are all in it together and will be there throughout. It’s early days for you and me and our mums. Look after yourself so that you are well enough to do this. Lots of love and best wishes to you and your lovely mum xxx

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    Hi Skyscloudy,

    I am glad to hear that your mum is coming home today - we all want to be at home if we can.

    It sounds as if you are doing all the right things with her. Don't leave anything unsaid. As a nurse you will find it frustrating not to be able to do more for her, but you will probably be more helpful by giving her emotional support rather than medical.

    Sadly, I lost my mum 21 years ago and I continue to miss her every day. She is still with us in spirit and I find that a great comfort.

    You have a hard road ahead of you, but it sounds as if you have plenty of support from a loving family. Don't worry about crying all the time. This is a great release valve, so let the tears flow. We all need to vent somehow.

    Rest assured that you are not alone on this journey. We are with you all the way.

    Kindest regards,

    Jolamine xx

     

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