Good evening, after reading all the supportive posts on his forum I thought I d make an account. My grandad was diagnosed with stage 3 oesophageal cancer last month and surgery and chemo isn't a option and I m waiting to hear form my mum if the oncologist has offered any options today but I m struggling a bit knowing it willI kill him at some point and my grandma is waiting for testing as its possible her lymphoma has come back.

lve dealt with death since 9 years old when my dad died and many other relatives had died since but I m now 100 miles away from my family I m finding it hard. the last close relative death I dealt with was watching my other grandad die of lung cancer when I was 17/18 and at the time I was in sixth form/ university so if I needed to miss a day the bills still got paid. But now working full time and my own health hasn't been great (so I ve had some unpaid sick days) , I m struggling to stay composed all the time at work. Just wanted a rant really but any advice appreciated