Oh bless ya ...

Who cares for the carer a ... with cancer, when we stop and take everything in it becomes overwhelming.   And comes crashing in on you ... I think there's not many, that havnt felt like you are now ... 

When it happened to me, and my son ... my daughter in law stepped in .. Sat us down .. and said .. o.k you've got cancer .. no more panic .. no more what ifs ... well take every problem and deal with that problem as and when they come up... and we'll do it together ...

That changed our outlook .. we stopped panicking .. I got my boxing gloves on .. and got on the cancer roller coaster, ready for the ride of my life ... and once I was stronger .. so was everyone around me .. 

I know you've been given a double whammy. . But maybe better then one after the other .. get it done at the same time .. stop looking ahead .. live in the day .. try to get help with things .. and you can call McMillan Mon to Fri ... they helped me ... just by saying my fears out loud ... 

I know what it's like having so much on your plate .. in my family I have a niece with cystic fibrosis... an uncle with Parkinson's. . My sister's in late stage dementure .. and I'm here having had breast cancer masectomy last July...my untie had a masectomy shortly after mine .. and lots going wrong in the mean time ... but I find l could cope with mine, but seeing others like my sister is so hard ... 

But I live in the day ... don't look at what might happen .. some days I need a good cry .. and I go with those feelings .. get them out .. and get back on life's rollercoaster again ... you can do this .. reach out ... you started on here .. and you know it's o.k to feel scared and angry .. but then wer all on that rollercoaster together .. doing the best we can ... so hold on tight .. it's a bumpy ride ...

Sending you a big caring hug ... Chrissie

Hi

I too am struggling. Can't seem to find the point in anything at the moment. My husband has just been diagnosed with terminal bile duct cancer. I know I have to find the strength to care for him i just don't know how at the moment. Perhaps we can find the strength together, taking one day at a time. Please feel free to contact me, we need to be able to open up about our feelings xx

Hi,  I know its 18 months on from your posts, but I have just picked them up, and am wondering how you are.

I hate the way I fell sometimes,  my husband has had cancer on and off for 9 years and the last 2 have been so difficult.  I'm a sensible person and most of the time I can handle the situation calmly.  But sometimes the tears flow and I just cant stop them.

My husband is the one suffering, the chemo and the side effects.  And I feel awful.  But I just dont know what to do when the darkness decends.

Hoping you are ok.

Hiya!

my partner has been put on antidepressants since my cancer diagnosis. We have 3 children, 2 of them still quite young so my partner is off work at the moment to help with myself and the children.

its been some rollercoaster so far!

i don't think people understand how hard it can be for the caregiver. My partner doesn't mind one bit doing everything but sometimes it's like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Constantly worrying about me, caring for me and the kids, housework, money (or lack of!). 
 

I doubt there's anything I can say to make you feel better but you are doing amazing! The cancer journey isn't a pleasant one and affects anyone close to the situation. Please remember to take time for yourself and be kind to yourself. Don't be scared to reach out and chat xxx