Cancer Research UK main site
  • Replies 3 replies
  • Views 269 views
  • Users 0 members are here

Acting weird

orchardcorner
Offline

Saw my dad yesterday who has just been diagnosed with bowel cancer that has spread to his peritoneum. I just couldn’t be normal. He seems so old all of a sudden. He’s ok in himself but I just felt weird around him. 

I was getting annoyed that he’s in pain that he can’t explain and that he just keeps taking painkillers. I was getting annoyed that he just sat there. I wanted him to  do something. Get some fresh air. It’s like he’s given up! He’s weak and tired so I know physically it’s hard but I think moving a bit might make him feel better. 

Now I’m upset that I felt like that when I saw him. I don’t know how to be around him and want it all to be back to normal. 

 

 

  • Offline

    Hi there ...

    I'm so sorry, and I quite understand how you feel ... I know you want things the same as they were .. but we can't ever go back .. life is never quite the same .. he's trying to deal with how he feels now .. and trust me .. lots on here say their energy level is really low .. and I bet your dad would love to feel "normal" again .. but he knows he has to live in the day .. we all have to get our heads round how life is now .. we can't even look into the future ... we don't know if we have one ..

    All you need to do, is go into his world .. find out how he really feels .. stop trying to get him to do what you think is right .. although your only trying to help .. if you go into his world, he will slowly trust you if he knows your not making him do anything he doesn't want to .. this is his cancer ... he must deal with it his way .. you have the chance to hold his hand .. walk his journey holding his hand ... or walk a different path, and never know all those memories you can still have with him ..

    Ask about his life .. bet there's a lot you don't know .. watch a film he likes .. look through album's. .

    Sit just holding his hand .. ask him if there's something he still wants to do .. there's loads you can do with him, without going out ... bet there's music he likes .. and make a new "normal" 

    Chrissie xx

  • Offline

    Hello and so sorry to read of your Dad's diagnosis and your feelings of thinking he is just giving up. I lost my mother to AML in 2011 just three days after diagnosis. After 3 months of being ill, even her doctor telling her that this was all in her head and wanted to prescribe anti depressants and even my Dad telling her that she should make an effort to get out of bed.  My mother had numerous other health complaints and had suffered so much over the years and very rarely complained.

    Only my mother knew how she really felt, so however hard it is to see your Dad like this just try and accept things his way.

    Sending kind thoughts to, you are naturally just a very worried daughter trying to accept your Dad's diagnosis and everything that comes with it. Warm wishes. Lynne.x

  • Offline in reply to Chriss

    Thank you so much. I’ve had a cry and spoken to him for half an hour in the phone. He’s had a good night but said he might hold back on the 5k run today! He’s still got his sense of humour! 

    One day at a time!

    I’m glad you’re all here. 

    X

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.