Should my5yr see his nanny In the weeks before her death

My mother in law ( 64)was suddenly diagnosed with an aggressive front lobal brain tumor 4 weeks ago, so was admitted to hospital,  a week later she had a bleed from the brain which caused her to have no movement on the right side and no speech. She can half  smile a bit and grimace etc but I have avoided my son seeing her as she has been in hospital but now she has been sent home for palliative care and given 6-8 weeks. Do I keep saying she is in hospital or let him see her at home :-( they were very close.)

 

 P.s I lost my mum to cancer at 58 and my other 3 children were 2.5 when she died so we're a little younger and did not understand so much .

Thanks for reading

  • Thank you Chrissie! It's never easy making these type of decision while also taking into account the child's mental state and emotion. There's always a fine line but I try to do it as gently and with much awareness of the situation to ensure both my mum and my son saw only the best of each other. :) Cheers!

  • Yes, but set his expectations first by explaining that she is really poorly and may not be able to play with him.

    Children are pretty resilient so long as their parents are honest with them and expose them to the less pleasant aspects of life in a controlled way. 50 years on and I still regret that I wasn’t allowed to say my goodbyes to my Grandma at the age of 9 or 10 because she was too poorly. I’d helped care for her before she went into hospital but at the time kids weren’t allowed to visit on that particular ward.

    Your call in the end - you know your son better than anyone else.

    Best wishes

    Dave