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The last leg

Pebbles67
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Hi

My husband is currently receiving pallative care for kidney, liver, lung cancer that may have started to spread to his brain.

He was admitted to a hospice last friday for a drug review but has since deteriorated further. Hes not eaten for over a week and is just wasting away.

We are both resigned to the fact that he is near the end of his journey. He is tired and had enough.

However how long can he survive without any form of nourishment? The team there are wonderful but will not give a prognosis.

I am just hanging on trying to be strong and cope for him. I bathe him daily and its horrendous seeing him waste away like this.

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    Hi there, so sorry to hear.wish I had the answer. 

    Its so frustrating and painful watching a loved one disappear before your eyes. No one wants to give a time or to commit themselves. My mum was diagnosed in july and given approx 3 months without chemo. She’s had 3 cycles reacted to all and needed 3 transfusion of blood. She no better and I feel it’s going to be a little by journey. But getting back to you, all I can advise, if that’s the right word, is try and be strong for him and enjoy your memorie, photos, videos etc.

    but you need someone to be strong for you too. Family, friend or a counsellor. All the best. 

  • Offline in reply to jeannie207

    Thank you Jeannie

    I am so sorry for your mum.

    Ots an awful disease and rotten watching someone you love going down this route.

    We are going day to day and making sure he is comfortable. He has had enough now but has had a chance to say goodbye to those he loves.

    Its amazing how you hold it together for them. I wish people would think about how hard it is on me and respect both his and my wishes! (His family mainly!)

    I hope you have support and your mum is comfortable.

    Hugs xxx 

  • Offline in reply to Pebbles67

    Hello Pebbles.  So sorry you are going through this and it seems as though you are having family problems to add to your woes.  I know it is difficult to make the wishes of yourself and your husband clear without causing bad feeling but sometimes you just have to politely explain what is needed and what is not needed.  I too hope that you have family and friends who are helping you.  In my experience of helping care for cancer patients they can linger for some time without taking nourishment but it does vary and I have just sat with them and talked even when I just got a wan smile in return or a squeeze of a hand or no reaction at all.  You sound to be doing what feels right for you and your beloved husband and that is the main thing.  It is difficult for the hospice staff to give a definite answer to your question but hopefully they will recognise when things are changing and give you the support you need.   Annie

  • Offline in reply to Pebbles67

    Wishing you and your husband, and all your loved ones the best. Thinking of you. Such a horrible disease to have to watch someone go through. x

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