Hello my love, so sorry to hear your news about Don. It is so hard to get your head around such a horrible prognosis isn’t it? From our experience it is extremely difficult for medical teams to be anywhere near precise about timescales unless The end looks pretty imminent. Mainly because so many things can factor in to extend or shorten someone’s life. On September 11 Steve was given 12 months – in the event he lasted just 2 1/2. That was due to a chest infection that left him too weak for more chemo which then allowed the cancer to run rampant through his body.
From when Steve was diagnosed as terminal in September we spent our time getting all our affairs in order, transferring things to my name, making sure I knew very basic things like how to put water into the windscreen wiper bottle in the car, where the spare lightbulbs were, all that kind of thing, we had the car serviced, the boiler serviced, we made our wills. We spent a lot of time with family and friends and as much time as possible just the two of us.
I can put my hand on my heart and say that without all of that organisation I would not be as relatively “okay“ as I am.
You must try and make the very best of what ever time Don has it got left. Don’t leave anything Unsaid and make sure you know what he wants to do when the end comes. Steve wanted to die at home and whilst I had some reservations about that I went along with his wishes and I am so glad I did. He died peacefully, holding my hand in his own room and we had so much help and support.
Steve even organised his cremation and has asked me to plan a birthday party for him in January. He didn’t want any kind of funeral so we are not having one, he is being cremated and I will get his ashes back but I will not be able to attend the cremation. I confess that was a huge relief to me.
Anyway, I am rambling about me and this post is really to support you. Let’s hope you have many many weeks left with Don and that you are able to look back on them with a smile on your face and love in your heart.
Take care and feel free to private message me if you need any support.
