Partner

My Dad has terminal cancer and has a partner who has never liked his family and for no reason.  I have recently been told she has been saying lots of nasty things about his family and talking about him as if he had gone and what she plans to do about the will etc .  I I have confronted her and she had denied it, the things said only my dad and her knew.  It is heartbreaking and I cannot bear to be around her.  She is now trying to be nice and never has been before.   Do I stop going down or only go when she is not there which would not be often.  I am so sad and it is affecting my state of mind.  

  • Hi there ..

    These times bring out difficult situations .. that are so sad ..but as we don't know why or how your dad really feels .. there is only your part we can see ..

    The only thing I would say .. is forget the will .. it will be what it will be .. when I lost my mum, she had no money's to share with us three girls ... she left us instead with a lifetime of unconditional love, and laughter ... and she gave us all her time .. I had the ring I brought her with my first wages ... she never took it off .. nor do l ... and too all her grandkids .. she left memories .. 29 years later they put pictures of her with them on their face book ... we talk about her all the time .. we still laugh at the things she got up too .. to all that she left us ... priceless .. never a cross word with any of her family .. there was nothing to fight for .. 

    If you have good memories .. then hold your head up high and visit him as you want .. and just maybe take those things out of the equation. . And your left with something far more precious ...

    Chrissie  x

  • Linda, I have a step mother who never liked Dad's first family.  She's exactly the same age as me, we both celebrate our 70th birthday next month on the same day.  This is her situation,  one son in Australia,  a daughter in law who won't have her in the house,  two grandchildren who she rarely sees, very few friends and all the money Dad left (he wrote my brother and me out of his will) she's spent.  Me, I have a loving family beautiful grandchildren a husband who adores me and loads of friends.   So swallow that anger and horrible thoughts because you will remember all the lovely times you've had and you can make more.  Smile, bite your tongue, count to ten and look her firmly in the eye.  Do not let her bully you out of visiting and ignore gossip.  Best wishes to you, Carol