Mom is struggling 1st stages of chemo -

Hello newbie here; I'm hoping for some advice and insight really. 

Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in july 2018, lumpectomy surgery done 5 clear lymphnods but because it was non invasive and not hormonal tablets wouldn't work so chemo and radio were the course of treatment. 

She is having FEC -T chemo; She had her 1st session Thursday 27th September. 

Since then she is struggling - I'm trying to keep her spirits up but it's like she lost all fight. She is very negative which I understand because this is awful for her; but it's like she won't eat she's in bed all day and she saying she can't do it. She constantly feels sick not sleeping she's having hot sweats the list goes on as some of you are aware  

I feel like I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried to get her out; it's like she doesn't think she is strong enough which I know she is. I've got a young family to attend to along with job etc and I'm finding it hard which isn't a patch on how my mom is doing but I need some help and guidance on what I can do. She has organised a big pink event this coming Saturday but she doesn't want to attend.. I'm feeling very helpless .. 

Any help advice or guidance would be greatly received thank you x

  • Hi there ...

    Chemo can knock you for six ... It attacks the cancer but also the good cells as well ... The fatigue is one of the hardest parts of this journey .. but everyone I've read say just go with your body .. it tells you to just stop and sleep lots .. even little things become major tasks .. and it can last a long time ... For the body to repair it needs loads of rest .. and sadly sickness is another part ..

    I'm afraid there's no easy way round this .. we just have to give in .. I'm 14 months post masectomy and still need a couple of days a week , totally resting ... So many on here have said the same thing .. things will improve in time but most of us know things will not be the same as before ...

    I'm sure your pretty worn out too .. it's a juggling act with family too ... You could phone McMillan and see if they could offer any help or tell you how to get any benefits for your mum, which may help pay for someone to look after her a little to take the pressure off you ..

    What I would say is try to tell your mum not to organise things if your left sorting them ..as lovely as big pink event is .. maybe cancel for now and do it next year when mum can do more .. look after your self ... Coz if you get ill , what will happen then ... You need to take some time off for you ... Is there other family that may help ... Take any help offered ... Chrissie x

  • Thank you for the advice. Unfortunately the event will have to go ahead I'll just have to run it; but hopefully she'll be able to pop down for an hour. 

    I'm trying all I can for her but I'm back at work soon so I'll be even worse so hopefully she starts to pick up a tad in order to be able to do some simple tasks. 

    Thanks again  x

  • Hi I suffered exactly as your Mum didn't,t want to get out of bed, hot sweats,not sleeping and everybody assuming it was my treatment but in the end I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety, obviously I was also tired from treatment, so we had all been barking up the wrong tree so to speak. Once I started treatment for depression it gradually started to lift and so did my spirits, depression is a very dark place to be so perhaps you could suggest to someone very tactfully this may be the case, if I can answer anything else for you please ask xx