Hi Supermum,

This sounds very familiar as I was given a similar stage 4 diagnosis (adenocarcinoma - cancer of the oesophageal/gastric junction) under similar circumstances 5 years ago this week. I've never smoked and drink only moderately - 60% of cancers are unavoidable and can affect literally affect anyone at random.

What chemo regime is he on and are there any other treatment options available to him? I was on EOX chemo and was lucky enough to respond well to that. Unfortunately surgery and radiotherapy were ruled  out because the cancer had grown around my aorta. 

On the positive side, if he is relatively young and fit, his body should be able to tolerate the chemo better than average which increases his chances of completing the treatment. 

Good luck

Dave

Hi Dave, 

thank you for sharing. He is fit and healthy. The Doctors haave put him on Cisplatin and we have gone on a trial too. This was recommended to us. Since getting the diagnosis our lives have been in limbo. He was working up until he had is first chemo on 21st September. To see him so fatigued and emotional is heartbreaking.  Reading what you have said has given me a glimmer of hope.  I may ask the Doctors about EOX.  

Thank  you 

Dear Carol,

thank you for saying that. I have already started counting to 10. I have had a couple of outburst already. i think its because he feels so helpless and not able to do anything.  I am being positive and trying to keep things normal. However I feel guilty that I have to leave him when I go to work. As a teacher  who works locally, I have been coming home at lunchtimes to see if he is ok and give him his lunch.  Am I right even to work?  supermum 

 Good morning, I’m so sorry to hear of your husbands diagnosis. This time last year I was in your situation.  The chemo has a different effect on different people. Not least it can affect peoples moods. The very best advice I can give you is to take each day as it comes, don’t give up, celebrate the good days and please, please remember that there are at least two people in this fight and you are just as important as your husband. You must take care of yourself.

 I will send you a friend request in case you want to ask me anything. 

Ruth x

Yes carry on working you need normality in your lives.  Even when my husband had his leg amputated pre cancer I carried on working.   If you are under each other's feet 24/7 you'll murder each other!  Lots of people do chemo on their own, when I went there was very little room for me and mamy times sat in the waiting room.  He'll feel more guilty thinking you've had to pack in work and that will cause more problems.  He needs to get through this in his own way, we always try to run everything,  it won't work in this scenario.   I've kept a daily blog since last Year,beginning April, check it out and see how we got through it daily.  I'm retired now so I have to be here.  Keep in touch. Xx

Hi Supermum,

I am very sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis.  My Dad was diagnosed with bowel cancer Feb 17. My Dad has always been a very fit man too and it was a total shock to everyone.  I know how hard it is, I was 4 months pregnant when Dad was diagnosed. So I understand how difficult it must be having children too!

Dad has been through surgery, chemotherapy, radiotherapy and currently in hospital as  he is having his illeostomy reversed.

My Dad has also not been in good places during this awful 18 months.  Its been so up and down! Mentally and Psysically. 

If I had any advice to give, it would be to try and stay as positive as you can (as you said you have been)  to do this, You need to focus on every day at a time, not the bigger picture.  Sometimes thinking of the future can make you feel anxious.  Dad would have been on different chemo to your husband but maybe have a look under the forums for a discussion about the type of chemo hes on.  They may be able to give your husband tips on the side effects.  This will enable you to support him better and you will feel better being able to do so. The Macmillan website is also very good.  I am not sure how old your children are but My Mum had me (25) and my sister (30) by her side thought it all. Between the three of us, we all had our bad days. We try to  "kept it together" in front of Dad, so hes not worried about us. However, we will chat about our feelings when hes not around.  I hope you have somebody you can talk to as a support if your children are still young.  If not, chat with us all on here and im sure everybody will be there for you as much as we can. I seen a quote that is very true, when a loved one is dianosed with cancer, the whole family have it! All you want is your life back before the nasty disease!

You can do this Supermum!  xx

Hope is so important. Without hope giving up and stopping chemo and the lousy side effects would be so tempting. The statistics are pretty scary at first sight but we need to remember that they cover all patients regardless of age, fitness levels and co-morbidities - each of which has an impact on outcomes. 

EOX is a combination of three types of chemo, the side effects are broadly similar to Cisplatin. I socially isolated myself quite a bit as at the time we were in the middle of a flu outbreak and I knew my immune system was seriously weakened. 

I felt awful for the first 24 hours after each infusion and found that sleeping the clock round for about 24 hours helped. After that I forced myself into doing a short walk with my dog every day. Eating little and often - mainly homemade banana and peanut butter power shakes, homemade fruit smoothies and soup plus chocolate, cake and ginger biscuits. My oncologist recommended eating and drinking anything I could keep down - those were the few things I could stomach (literally) for several weeks. 

I also binge-read the whole of the Game of Thrones series of books, just for escapism. Anything to distract my mind was welcome - I went through several DVD box sets too. 

I hope the chemo works well for him too. 

Best wishes

Dave

 Hi Dave, Steve starts EOX next week. He tolerated the first rounds of chemo quite well but not sure what to expect this time round so your post is very helpful.  I remember all too well the days of home-made milkshakes and smoothies.  Am prepared for a return to them if necessary....  I used gold top milk and dried milk powder to make them extra calorific/nutritional 

 Keep everything crossed for my gorgeous hubby – we need some good news for a change – so fed up with the constant barrage of negativity! 

Always lovely to read your posts.

Hi SusanRuth,

Fingers and toes crossed ;-)

I forgot the full fat/gold top element! No ice cream with EOX though :-( 

Good luck!

Dave