It's been a long journey. My husband became ill in 2010 and sadly was misdiagnosed for some time ( under private healthcare). When he was diagnosed in 2011 with prostate cancer it was aggressive, Gleason 9, metastatic. Since being with the NHS he has had amazing treatment at uclh and guy's. So, through zoladex, casadex, aberatarone, docetaxel, radiotherapy and radium 223 he has kept relatively healthy until now ( though somewhere along the way he also developed bowel cancer and needed an op for that too). His treatment options are at an end now and I think we both accept the inevitable since we have had many years to come to terms with this illness and it was a terminal diagnosis from the start. We have been lucky with the amazing care, the fact he responded so well ( he wasn't sick/ didn't lose hair with chemo and he was in top 3%of responders to abiraterone). However, for most of this time he has insisted he is more comfortable in bed rather than getting up. So, he will be the life and soul for any visitors, will go to meet friends and be lively and fun - but for me it is doom and gloom, eternal pessimism and 20+ hours in bed per day. He now has reached the final furlong and I can see he is in pain from the bone cancer - I don't expect miracles, but just some short trips together would mean so much. Why can he make the effort for every one else but not for me, or indeed our son who visits regularly but only ever finds his dad in bed watching TV. This isn't a recent development, he has behaved this way for years - it feels such a waste of the extra time he was given through exceptional care - and is so hurtful to me and our son. I'm not sure I expect much advice - I've tried to discuss it so many times with him but he just doesn't want to know - simply says he likes to be in bed to be comfortable.
