Trying to put in a nutshell... back in March my husband got referred for prostate biopsy following inconsistent PSA results. He did his usual, brave face, stubborn, dug heels in, refused to discuss, and went alone and "got on with it". Since March he has had, as far as I know, 7 or 8 biopsies, due to inconsistent results. Also another op, under gas and air, as he refused general anaesthetic, remove some muscle tissue surrounding prostate. He has continued with work, running constantly on the treadmill, and refusing to involve me in meetings, ops, consultations, results etc. etc. The best I get is a text message as an update. On Friday, last week, he sent me a message telling me that he had just been told he has cancer - inner and outer prostate, spread to bladder, and possibly liver, and been told 10% chance of recovery, 3 - 6 months life expectancy. He was given a steriod for pain and to thin wall of bladder and prostate, and had to decide if he wanted to go ahead with chemo. Since this has happened he has again refused to discuss. I will add, our relationship was very fragile before this all happened, but now it has totally broken down. We have a 12 year old son at home and I cannot believe he has chosen to give me these messages in a text. What the hell is going on? Could what he is telling me be true? I'm starting to doubt everything he is telling me. This morning I asked for an update and his response was that the consultant was going to be calling me. When I asked why, he sarcastically responded with ... because he told them I don't believe him, and that I don't understand anything! I am so confused. Why is he being so nasty? Could these results really be true? Could this life expectancy be true, along with the recovery rate of 10%? Is so, why bother with chemo? For years I have felt, and told him that he is a narcissistic control freak, and that I have been unhappy in our marriage - is he sending me these messages to be nasty, or is this really happening? The clinic, of course, won't divulge any information to me, due to patient confidentiality. I have looked at rarer prostate situations and advanced prostate, but I'm still struggling with this prognosis. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. HELP!!
