Hello Rainbow18,

Welcome to Cancer Chat. I am so sorry to hear that your mum now has a terminal diagnosis it must be incredibly difficult for you to cope at the moment and I can imagine that you also feel you want to protect your little brother who is only 10 years old and it can be so hard to find the right words to talk about this with young children. If it is of interest to you, we have some information on Talking to Children about Cancer here.

It is really nice of you to have moved back home to look after your mum but it isn't surprising that it is all getting a bit much for you. I can understand why you are feeling devastated at the moment and I hope you have some good support around you, that you have friends and family by your side to help you get through these difficult times. I thought I would also share this link with you  which contains tips on how get help and support at the moment and also on how to look after yourself during these difficult times.

I really hope you will hear from our friendly community and that they will be there soon to talk to you and share their experience with you.

Best wishes,

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Dear Rainbow,

My heart goes out to you as i faced the same problem as you, feeling alone yet family on board.  My mom was diagnosed with brain cancer and given 3 to six months.  I immediately left my job in another state as she was my best friend just like your mom is your's.  Leaving my job and tending to her care was in the end the best decision I ever made.  Like yourself, I felt alone but what I really felt was sadness that i couldn't save her.  So, after digesting that part, I vowed to make her last days her best and just took it one day at a time without thinking about the what ifs which will drive you crazy and make you feel sadder.  Do whatever she wants to do but "make just for you and her time" to enjoy.  My mom liked playing cards, so i made special time for me and her. Talk about things that still interest you, ask her for suggestions on things you are thinking about or planning.  It doesn't matter if she won't be there or not but by just talking to her, she will still feel like your mom, giving her imput.  Don't be negative, let her feel like she is spot on....doesn't mean you have to do it :) just let her know you wanted to include her in your life.  It will help you both.  When my mom. did pass away, earlier than was determined, I felt anew as I carried out her wishes exactly how she wanted.  I spoke with her about things we use to talk about and though, I didn't agree with much of her answers :) I am glad that I included her in my thoughts.

I hate it for you but i can tell you that your life will go on after this passes and you will be happy again.  Yes, there will always be a "void" but the pain and sense of loss, fades if you allow it.  Your mom will always be there in your heart.

TJ